View Full Version : Murders at Tesco

03-10-2009, 02:25 PM
So, here's the story. . .

Tired of constantly being broke, and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife (with himself as the beneficiary) then arranges to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nervous 'dark-side' underworld figure, who went by the name of 'Artie.'

Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was 5,000 and the husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash at hand until after he had collected his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened up his wallet and took out a single 1 coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the 1 coin as a down-payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco store and surprised her in the produce department. He crept up behind her and proceeded to strangle her. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath, the manager of the produce department stumbled upon the murder scene.

Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie then had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. Unfortunately for Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the CCTV monitors and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police.

Artie was immediately arrested, and under intense questioning at the police station, revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangement with the hapless husband.

In no time at all the police had the husband in custody as well.

The next day (in the local newspaper) the headline declared........





You're going to hate me for this .........






Oh, quit groaning .. I don't write this stuff!!!!

03-10-2009, 02:44 PM
mmmm yes very good dear....:slap:

03-10-2009, 02:45 PM
:point: i gonna have to pass it now!

03-10-2009, 02:50 PM
LOLOL!! SEE?! I LIKE that sort of funny!!! :laugh:

Thanks, Helly!

03-10-2009, 03:58 PM
My kind of joke! :laugh:

Mr LoveBucket
03-10-2009, 09:47 PM
:ouch:Only you could come up with a joke that bad. :brickwall: :worship: