View Full Version : don't know what to do?! long saga!

29-11-2009, 08:45 PM
through facebook i got quite friendly with a friend of one of my US friends- she is on an overseas tour in the UK so we had a few things in common. All was hunky dory. Anyway she made some remarks via private message about my friends husband which weren't very nice and as i see them as family rather than friends i told her that i didn't feel that way and didn't want to discuss my friends marriage etc with her, i felt like getting rid of her as a friend on facebook but thought it would provoke problems and i didn't want to explain to my friend why i had deleted her. I just basically didn't post anything on facebook and didn't encourage anything but if she talked to me i would reply.

anyway she sent me a private message yesterday asking if everything was ok with us and hoping that i hadn't forwarded her original message to my friend (it would break her heart what was said) Of course I haven't. I have ignored it up until now but today she's putting little remarks on my friends home page and making snide remarks else where.

I don't know what to do! i love my friend like a sister and wouldn't ever want anything to come between us but am worried that she is going to do something stupid. My friend did tell me some not nice stuff that she had previously done and that has fuelled my worries.

help! :sorry: sorry for the rant but it's really worrying me

29-11-2009, 11:43 PM
sounds like this new friend is out to make trouble and is having fun doing it. maybe she thought you would forward the message n do her dirty work for her. stay well clear of her is my advice and stick by your original friend who you have known n loved longer

the new one sounds like a bunny boiler to me :thumbsdown:

30-11-2009, 01:38 AM
I agree... can you step away from this person and block her at every opportunity. You don't want her saying that you have said things when you haven't and causing trouble with your real friends X

30-11-2009, 01:51 AM
One does not need those type of people around. Stick with your gut.

30-11-2009, 06:42 AM
It sounds to me as if you haven't done anything that could upset your old friend, as you refused to talk about the stuff the new one had brought up. And you are saying your old friend already knows the new one is a troublemaker. So, can't you just tell your old friend that you are starting to see that side of her, that she has gossipped about things you're not happy with, and block the new one? Or would your old friend insist on knowing exactly what she had said? If that were the case, is there anything else she has said that you could use as evidence instead of the stuff about her husband?

If what she has said about your friend's husband is untrue or just an opinion, couldn't you be honest about that to your old friend and explain to her your loyalty?

I have read all that back and not sure it makes sense!!

Not a nice position to be in Julie :hug2:

30-11-2009, 03:10 PM
I'd contact my original friend and let her know that I was breaking off contact with this secondary friend as she had conducted herself in a manner that I found unacceptable. I would let my original friend know that I was letting her know my plans out of respect for their relationship. I would ask my friend to respect my need to not go into "useless detail" but rather to understand that I did not take this action lightly.

Then I would do it. You don't need someone like that in your life.

30-11-2009, 03:43 PM
I agree with Tink.

30-11-2009, 05:43 PM
I think Tink hit the nail in the head :yes:

Either way it just isn't fun :hug2:

30-11-2009, 05:44 PM
thanks guys, i will do it tonight. I guess i've learnt a valuable lesson out of this.

01-12-2009, 08:40 PM
I love the way Tink put it.... :)

01-12-2009, 09:04 PM
I love the way Tink put it.... :)

she has a real knack with words doesn't she!

i had an email back from my friend saying that she respected my decision and i didn't have to explain anything. So i hope that this is the end

thanks everyone for your advice :hug2:

17-01-2010, 07:15 PM
Something told me this wouldn't be the end.....

Jon recieved a message today on his facebook

Hi Jon, you don't know me at all but I was a "friend" with Julie on FB and wondered what happened to here. We are mutual friends with ............ Not sure if it was something I said or what but haven't seen her on here in months. Is everything ok? Please tell her hello from me. THanks!

Stalker alert!

17-01-2010, 08:43 PM

How did she get to Jons facebook page?

17-01-2010, 08:52 PM
Ugh. That kind of stuff drives me bonkers. Only thing left is to delete as a friend, I guess? :unsure: I don't use facebook, so don't know how those things work.

17-01-2010, 11:32 PM
I have blocked her, so anything I say on there she can't see andvice versa, iguess she saw jon post on our friends page and decided to send a message. You can do that without being friends. A little stalkerish don't u think?

17-01-2010, 11:43 PM
Well, I don't know... :unsure:

If she continues, I'd say yes. Perhaps she really is a bit confused and wanted to know what's up? I tend not to be a pursuer, so don't really know if that's inappropriate or not?

Loads of help, aren't I? :unsure: :sorry:

18-01-2010, 01:56 AM
You did the right thing darlin. Let that bit of stalker stuff settle...she'll get bored soon enough and go away. And here I though I was the onlyone that had "Stalkers wanted-apply within" on me somewhere lol

18-01-2010, 06:04 PM
two words for you

bunny boiler

i would be honestly not reply to anything she puts and tell john to do the same :slap:

20-01-2010, 10:52 PM
could it be that she really is wondering about you??