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josh.p.
23-07-2008, 11:55 PM
Okay.. this is for the parents/granparents out there! :p015:

If your son had asked you if he could have a fish tank (if he payed for it himself!) and you said no because;

"We're not having anymore animals, you won't look after them"

but then you where on holiday and left his sister in charge... came back and there was a fish tank- what would you do?

Would you make him get rid of it? keep it and shout at him? Smash it into tiny pieces?

:lol:

Tink
23-07-2008, 11:57 PM
Hmmmmm, I would probably start by asking his sister why she had allowed the parental decision to be revoked.

Then, I would speak with the son and express my huge disappointment in his disrespecting my decision.

I am not sure what I would then do. I surely wouldn't cause the fishes death, but depending, I may require that they be given (along with the tank and everything else) away to someone else.

tb2830
24-07-2008, 12:11 AM
Okay.. this is for the parents/granparents out there! :p015:

If your son had asked you if he could have a fish tank (if he payed for it himself!) and you said no because;

"We're not having anymore animals, you won't look after them"

but then you where on holiday and left his sister in charge... came back and there was a fish tank- what would you do?

Would you make him get rid of it? keep it and shout at him? Smash it into tiny pieces?

:lol:

i would shout at you then let you keep it, but as my kids will tell you im well known for giving in for a peaceful life

Dorothy
24-07-2008, 12:44 AM
Okay.. this is for the parents/granparents out there! :p015:

If your son had asked you if he could have a fish tank (if he payed for it himself!) and you said no because;

"We're not having anymore animals, you won't look after them"

but then you where on holiday and left his sister in charge... came back and there was a fish tank- what would you do?

Would you make him get rid of it? keep it and shout at him? Smash it into tiny pieces?

:lol:



The sister would be in trouble first for allowing him to go against their wishes and then the son would be in trouble for the same thing.

I wouldn't smash the tank, but the son wouldn't be keeping either. It's a matter of respect also and if he just figured that while they were gone he'd do it and take the yelling, but still get what he wanted.......nope, that ain't gonna happen in my house.

Taja
24-07-2008, 01:16 AM
Have to agree with Tink and Dorothy.

Tink
24-07-2008, 01:27 AM
Heaven's no! No violence. That wouldn't teach a thing. I'm a firm believer in consequences for actions (good or not so good). I believe that prepares a child better for life experiences. If we drive too fast we get a speeding ticket. If we work hard in uni, we get a degree with excellent grades that leads to the potential for a good job... so on.

If I had said no, then I'd have had a good reason for it, so would stick to it.

Now, that's not to say a child shouldn't be allowed to negotiate things. "No, no fish, you won't care for them." "How about if I start with a small tank and one/two fish and show you that I will?" That sort of thing is healthy and allows the child to have some contribution to the decision making.

At the end of the day a parent is just that, a parent and needs to take responsibility for being one. It's often not a popular position, eh? :sigh;

Tinker
24-07-2008, 01:36 AM
I agree with Sister Tink & Dorothy . If my decision was no and he went behind my back and did it anyway, the fish tank would go . Sorry , its a matter of respect .

Tinker
24-07-2008, 01:47 AM
Heaven's no! No violence. That wouldn't teach a thing. I'm a firm believer in consequences for actions (good or not so good). I believe that prepares a child better for life experiences. If we drive too fast we get a speeding ticket. If we work hard in uni, we get a degree with excellent grades that leads to the potential for a good job... so on.

If I had said no, then I'd have had a good reason for it, so would stick to it.

Now, that's not to say a child shouldn't be allowed to negotiate things. "No, no fish, you won't care for them." "How about if I start with a small tank and one/two fish and show you that I will?" That sort of thing is healthy and allows the child to have some contribution to the decision making.

At the end of the day a parent is just that, a parent and needs to take responsibility for being one. It's often not a popular position, eh? :sigh; I just saw this Sister Tink and it reminded me to tell you what I did to my DS when he was 16 . He had his first job at a hospital and got involved with the wrong crowd . He came in after curfew , accepted punishment to calmly and was just to quiet . I opened the paper to see that friends that worked with him were arrested for robbing a Liqour Store . I was frantic , he walked in from school and I calmly handed him the paper waiting for the reaction . Seeing tears I knew he was scared, but I marched his deerie erre right up to the police station .
Luckily he was left behind at the party site, but the beer was brought back . He didn't know until they all started :lol: and said where the beer came from . He left and came home . The detective appreciated him coming in and he never heard anymore about it .
He was punished for a month . No after school activities , nothing .
He was so relieved he didn't care and never went behind my back again .
Sorry to derail your thread , joshp

Tink
24-07-2008, 01:55 AM
:yes: What is that line from Steel Magnolias? Something like, "That's because you were raised right." Fits here, eh?

Tinker
24-07-2008, 02:26 AM
Yes, Ma'am ! Pat still brings it up that I MADE HIM soil his pants . LOL sorry

ukwdwnut
24-07-2008, 02:48 AM
yep same goes here, i never give in to plese a child, my decision goes.........so the tank would go and the fish get battered and fried :lol:.......just kiddin ;).........i would allow a tank coz i love tropical fish

Tinker
24-07-2008, 02:49 AM
in that respect , so would I nut , I'd love to have a salt water tank and have a sea horse

ukwdwnut
24-07-2008, 03:11 AM
in that respect , so would I nut , I'd love to have a salt water tank and have a sea horse

and nemo's :D

i can sit and watch the fish for ages so calming, and beautiful colours too

Tinker
24-07-2008, 03:15 AM
yup , dory's and the yellow ones with the long noses, too . SweeT !

Shellyamc
24-07-2008, 04:11 AM
If Mom and Dad say no then the answer is no. They have good reason for making that decision and going behind their back would not be helping yourself out any. If they think the fish wouldn't be taken care of and then the fish tank just shows up they would pretty much be proven right. Their is a responsibility issue :p015:

The tank and fish would go to a good home. But NOT our home.

PsychoAlice
24-07-2008, 04:50 AM
Its easier to ask for forgiveness than permission....

Dawn
24-07-2008, 06:41 AM
Same as everyone else, if the answer is no and a tank appeared the tank would go and everyone involved in its appearance would be in big trouble.

Saying that Steven has a tank in his room that we agreed to and I wish we hadn't because it's a pain to maintain - by that I mean I'm the only one who looks after the fishies and keeps them clean.

Skywatcher
24-07-2008, 07:03 AM
OMG its the 2 laptops thing all over again :eek:

Ursula
24-07-2008, 07:10 AM
PMSL.... sooooooooooo you won't be getting a fishtank then Josh while your folks are away then?..... PMSL!

Dawn
24-07-2008, 07:11 AM
Josh didn't you try this once before with a hamster? And we all said the same back then too? :rofl:

josh.p.
24-07-2008, 07:19 AM
Well.... the hamster thing, I tried and tried to persuade them but no! and I thought a hamster is a pretty big responsibility, so I didn't get one, but fish! I can look after fish... I look after 5 tortoises single-handedly! :p015: Plus... water changes, feeding and up-keep of the tank... what else is there to do?! :lol:

I just want a pet for my room :gy:

Dawn
24-07-2008, 07:33 AM
Plus... water changes, feeding and up-keep of the tank... what else is there to do?! :lol:



Well you'd be surprised how much time that takes. Steven has a 2ft tank - 1/3 of water changed weekly, every month tank gets full clean out and new filter pads (7 for 3). The light needed changing recently. If you have plastic plants they need cleaning. If you have real plants the fish will eat them so you'll need to replace them regularly and maintain good lighting levels for them.

Fish die - flushed another neon tetra this morning. :rolleyes008:

Stick with the torts mate. :p015:

Skywatcher
24-07-2008, 07:38 AM
http://www.dealextreme.com/productimages/sku_4524_1.jpg

Grammiepo
24-07-2008, 10:33 AM
If I said no, then no it would be, sorry Josh.

PsychoAlice
24-07-2008, 11:01 AM
so you first mistake was asking.....shouldnt have done that...again...its easier to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission....

Dorothy
24-07-2008, 01:52 PM
Josh don't go behind their backs honey. It's just not worth losing their trust over a few fish. Why not ask your folks why they think you're not taking good care of you torts and then continue the conversation from there. If they have concerns, then address them without temper.

As for fish in your room, go read Dawn's post about fish. My little grandson Zach has a tank in his room too and it is a lot of work. Don't even ask about Bob's 55 gallon tank that guess who gets to take care of :rolleyes008:

Johnie
24-07-2008, 05:50 PM
so you first mistake was asking.....shouldnt have done that...again...its easier to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission....

While that is true. I don't advocate for a child to go against their parent in that regard. Especially when they have already set forth a rule. I would be highly po'd if Alysia did something like that behind my back. Now, I am an adult and I don't go around asking permission from anyone so no forgiveness is needed either.

josh.p.
24-07-2008, 10:23 PM
Josh don't go behind their backs honey. It's just not worth losing their trust over a few fish. Why not ask your folks why they think you're not taking good care of you torts and then continue the conversation from there. If they have concerns, then address them without temper.

As for fish in your room, go read Dawn's post about fish. My little grandson Zach has a tank in his room too and it is a lot of work. Don't even ask about Bob's 55 gallon tank that guess who gets to take care of :rolleyes008:
I do take good care of my torts- they acknowledge it themselves :yes: Not sure why they don't want fish.

josh.p.
24-07-2008, 11:24 PM
Ive decided to take the high road, buy a few fish keeping books, do some research, then ask for one for Christmas. I wouldn't have done it anyway. Dont wanna be deceitful to them and put a burden on my sis

Dorothy
25-07-2008, 01:27 PM
Ive decided to take the high road, buy a few fish keeping books, do some research, then ask for one for Christmas. I wouldn't have done it anyway. Dont wanna be deceitful to them and put a burden on my sis

That's my Josh :hug2: I'm proud of you sweetie :yes:

Tink
25-07-2008, 01:34 PM
That's the way Josh. :yes: Plus, remember. You'll soon be off to uni and they may be thinkning of that too. Who will care for your pets when you are gone?

MystikPiglit
25-07-2008, 01:37 PM
Josh, no.

There, that was simple wasn't it. :D

:hug2:

dzneeprincss
25-07-2008, 01:38 PM
Okay.. this is for the parents/granparents out there! :p015:

If your son had asked you if he could have a fish tank (if he payed for it himself!) and you said no because;

"We're not having anymore animals, you won't look after them"

but then you where on holiday and left his sister in charge... came back and there was a fish tank- what would you do?

Would you make him get rid of it? keep it and shout at him? Smash it into tiny pieces?

:lol:

Josh-
The first thing needed to be done is find out if the sister allowed it or it was done on its own. If it were my child I would make sure they took care of the fish and the first time the fish weren't cared for ie: feeding, cleaning the tank properly or even just keeping the area around it clean I would let them know the fish are gone. I love animals but if I have to care for them instead of the person who owns it it is gone from my house and my kids know it. My daughter's fiance brought a new dog into our house (at the time we already had a dog, rabbit, 2 birds, a tank of fish and 3 hamsters) and he was told if I babysit the dog he pays me to do it and Vinny has no problem with that. When the kids go away if they can't bring the dog with them they pay the girl next door to take care of their animals for them. They each have a dog but since Sammy has joined us we only have 2 dogs left the others have gone to a better place. I am getting fish again this week and when I go on vacation I pay the kids to babysit my fish. If it is your responsibility you had better take charge of it is all I tell my kids. It has taught them well too, my granddaughter has a turtle and a bird and she pays me to babysit when they go away. Part of her allowance goes to me for watching her pets (I put it in a bank account for her college, first car or wedding but the fact that at 6 years old she is that responsible makes me happy how I taught my kids).
Marie

josh.p.
25-07-2008, 02:06 PM
I'm, going to buy that one chris has posted, and tell them I bought a fish tank when they went away, show them to my room and then show them that one- Their faces will be hysterical!

Tink
25-07-2008, 02:16 PM
Now that's a little evil, but funny! LOL! They just may give in after that one! :lol:

ukwdwnut
25-07-2008, 07:49 PM
i agree with tink josh, if you are off to uni soon then i wouldnt let you have them either just on that basis alone

Grammiepo
25-07-2008, 07:51 PM
I'm, going to buy that one chris has posted, and tell them I bought a fish tank when they went away, show them to my room and then show them that one- Their faces will be hysterical!
You are just asking for trouble!:slap:

josh.p.
25-07-2008, 09:02 PM
i agree with tink josh, if you are off to uni soon then i wouldnt let you have them either just on that basis alone
I'm not off to uni soon, its at least another 3 years! :p015::p015:

Tink
25-07-2008, 10:33 PM
Oh. Well, when you go to college will you still be living at home?

ukwdwnut
26-07-2008, 12:13 AM
I'm not off to uni soon, its at least another 3 years! :p015::p015:

oh well thats different :).....you still aint geting a tank tho ;) :lol:

what are going to do at college josh?

josh.p.
26-07-2008, 12:47 AM
I stay at home when I go to college.. its only a 2 minute walk :yes:
I'm doing combined english, media studies, performing arts and ICT

Tink
26-07-2008, 01:16 AM
Ah. Well then. That will be good for your being able to continue to care for your torts. What about when you go to uni? Have you thought about that yet? Will you go away to uni?