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kazzaqld
28-07-2008, 03:18 AM
<tt>UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)</tt>
<tt>Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Homosexuals.</tt>
<tt>Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.</tt>


<tt>BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)</tt>
<tt>Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.</tt>
<tt>Theakston: There's a clue in the title.</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Leicester.</tt>


<tt>BBC NORFOLK</tt>
<tt>Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: I don't know.</tt>
<tt>White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Arm.</tt>
<tt>White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Strong.</tt>
<tt>White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Louis.</tt>
<tt>White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Frank Sinatra?</tt>


<tt>LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)</tt>
<tt>Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: France.</tt>
<tt>Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.</tt>
<tt>Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.</tt>
<tt>Trelinski: Just guess a country then.</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Paris.</tt>


<tt>THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)</tt>
<tt>Anne Robinson: - Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: The Conservative Party.</tt>


<tt>BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)</tt>
<tt>DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?</tt>
<tt>Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?</tt>


<tt>UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE</tt>
<tt>Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Goosey?</tt>


<tt>GWR FM (Bristol)</tt>
<tt>Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.</tt>


<tt>RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND)</tt>
<tt>Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about</tt>
<tt>pensioners: Last Of The...?</tt>
<tt>Caller: Mohicans.</tt>


<tt>PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)</tt>
<tt>Phil: What's 11 squared?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: I don't know.</tt>
<tt>Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Is it five?</tt>


<tt>RICHARD AND JUDY</tt>
<tt>Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?</tt>
<tt>A: Forrest Gump.</tt>

kazzaqld
28-07-2008, 03:19 AM
Re: Quiz contestants! part 2



<tt>RICHARD AND JUDY</tt>
<tt>Le</tt><tt>slie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Er. . .</tt>
<tt>Le</tt><tt>slie: He makes bread . .</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Er . ...</tt>
<tt>Le</tt><tt>slie: He makes cakes . . .</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Kipling Street?</tt>


<tt>LINCS FM PHONE-IN</tt>
<tt>Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Barcelona.</tt>
<tt>Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.</tt>
<tt>Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.</tt>


<tt>NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)</tt>
<tt>Question: What is the world's largest continent?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: The Pacific</tt>


<tt>ROCK FM (PRESTON)</tt>
<tt>Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?</tt>


<tt>THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)</tt>
<tt>Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Magna Carta?</tt>


<tt>JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)</tt>
<tt>O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER?ER .</tt>
<tt>Three?</tt>


<tt>CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)</tt>
<tt>Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?</tt>
<tt>Caller: Japan.</tt>
<tt>Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.</tt>
<tt>Caller: Er ....Mexico?</tt>


<tt>PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)</tt>
<tt>Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?</tt>
<tt>Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.</tt>


<tt>DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)</tt>
<tt>Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Holland?</tt>
<tt>Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?</tt>
<tt>Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: No.</tt>


<tt>PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)</tt>
<tt>Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Er. .. .</tt>
<tt>Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Blimey?</tt>
<tt>Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .</tt>
<tt>Contestant: (Silence)</tt>
<tt>Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Walked?</tt>


<tt>THE VAULT</tt>
<tt>Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Nostalgia.</tt>


<tt>LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)</tt>
<tt>Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Jewish.</tt>
<tt>Presenter: That's close enough.</tt>


<tt>STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)</tt>
<tt>Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?</tt>
<tt>Contestant: Jesus</tt>

mumof2
28-07-2008, 07:44 AM
:uhh: :unsure: OMG!!! I can't pick out my favourite ~ they're all as crazy as each other! :bounce022:

Dawn
28-07-2008, 07:54 AM
LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.


:rofl:

Claire
28-07-2008, 08:24 AM
:lol:

Skywatcher
28-07-2008, 08:27 AM
:laugh: thank you for making a bad day - slightly less bad

lisaw
28-07-2008, 08:29 AM
:lol: That is why I would never enter a phone in competition :lol:

Isafari
28-07-2008, 09:14 AM
:lol: brilliant
Loved the UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?

and also
JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER?ER .
Three?

Need to send that to DH....he is sitting at his computer about 6 feet away but I'll email him anyway!

kazzaqld
28-07-2008, 09:39 AM
I think the Goosey one was my favourite too - but I love all the ones where the host is desperately trying to help and the person is just beyond help! :lol:

MystikPiglit
29-07-2008, 10:37 AM
:laugh: Excellent.





LINCS FM PHONE-IN
<TT>Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?</TT>
<TT>Contestant: Barcelona.</TT>
<TT>Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.</TT>
<TT>Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.</TT>


:dozey:

Skywatcher
29-07-2008, 01:33 PM
This sort of thing backs up some very un pc thoughts that keep surfacing in my mind from time to time :D