View Full Version : cat diary

03-07-2011, 08:06 PM
Day 979 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. pooper troopers.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but
at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies
and snitches. The dog receives special privileges He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously brain damaged!

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now ...

03-07-2011, 08:15 PM

Tom (:macwave:... evil beast...)

03-07-2011, 08:40 PM
That is fantastic!

03-07-2011, 08:54 PM

04-07-2011, 08:43 AM
:thumbsup::applaudit::ROFL: love it.

04-07-2011, 09:50 AM
Hold on... we're going to torment the kitty a little more and move to "Just for Laughs!"

04-07-2011, 02:00 PM
This is outstanding stuff. You should write a book with all his daily entries.


04-07-2011, 04:54 PM
This is so funny :ROFL::ROFL:

I've copied it to send to my daughters cat so that she can see that she's not the only one out there held in captivity by evil humans :lol: