View Full Version : Long time no see, several things have been afoot

01-05-2012, 09:06 AM
Both major things have good outcomes so don't worry.

Have taken a couple of weeks off after Easter and during that time we took a trip up to Worcester.

Now Worcester is where Lisa was born, what most of you don't know is that she never really knew her biological father. Her Mum and Dad split when she was very small. She was always told that he didn't want anything to do with her and had made no effort to get in touch all these years.

Well following the death of her mother 2 years ago things started to move a little. Lisas sister managed to track down her 1/2 sister ( they knew their dad had remarried and had kids) on Facebook and struck up a conversation, initially this was with the idea of simply letting him know that his ex wife had died.

Anyway, following a visit from Lisas step dad, he said 'not to believe everything she had been told' and gave her his full support for her to make contact with her biological father.

As you can imagine it was all a rather emotional time.

Anyway, long story short - they have been communicating by e-mail for the last year or so, sending cards and exchanging photos and videos ( he has kept all her old drawings she did as a little girl - hardly a sign he didn't want to know) ; and finally we went up and spent an afternoon with them. We also met one of Lisas half sisters as well and it all went rather swimmingly. Its fascinating finally seeing the missing part of the genetic puzzle - we know now where Thomas gets his musical talent and his hair from :lol:

Although he was very emotional and rather overcome ( he said it was worse than a berevement to know she was out there but not be allowed access) Lisa said she didn't really have those feelings quite yet, not unsurprisingly but I'm sure that will grow

It has brought up some rather bad feelings towards Lisas Mum of course who clearly manipulated the whole situation and denied him access.

Anyway thats one of the things we've been doing.

The other was my brother - he has always had very bad knees and arthritis and frankly needed a knee replacement by age 26. Anyway over the last few months he has had a large swelling developing in his left knee. He saw his consultant, who ordered an MRI to be done the next day and come back the following week for results as he hadn't seen any lump quite like it before

Now this rang rather huge alarm bells with me ( not him) as clearly the chap was looking for something rather sinister to organsie things so quickly - infact I assumed he thought it was a high grade sarcoma, if it was the prognosis is appauling and he has a baby due shortly after ours

So when he texted me on Friday to tell me he had appauling arthritis with cysts, bony fragments loose in the joint and no cartillage left at all he was rather surprised by my resposnse which was to almost cry with relief - having not slept for 4 days

So 2 rather good bits of news in the last few weeks :D

Been off the last week as we have installed a whole new computer system at work and it is taking quite a while to get everyoe up to speed

Missed you all and hope to be more present again real soon:yes:

Baby is cooking nicely by the way ;)

01-05-2012, 09:19 AM
Blimey, what an emotional time for you all!!! Glad everything turned out ok in the end, sorry to hear that your brother has all that wrong with his knee - although relieved that its not what you thought it was!
Lisa's poor dad mustve found those years incredibly painful, cant imagine how hurt he has been - but they have found one another now which is wonderful!

01-05-2012, 09:26 AM
Good that little Tink is coming along nicely. :yes:

SO relieved for you that your brother doesn't have some horrid illness. Not to make light of his discomfort mind!

What an incredible story regarding Lisa's Dad. The poor man must be thrilled to death, yet apprehensive. I hope the relationship works itself into something beautiful and genuine.

It's good to have you back. I was wondering where you were and trying not to worry. :sorry:

01-05-2012, 10:04 AM
Gosh, you have had a busy time. I'm glad things worked out for all concerned. :hug2:

01-05-2012, 10:16 AM
So you guys have been relaxing, doing nothing, huh?! :tongue:

Quite an emotional roller coaster!

If the baby is "cooking," does that make Lisa a pressure cooker, dutch oven, or a regular oven? :lol: Or maybe even a microwave. I have definitely ruled out a George Foreman Grill.

01-05-2012, 11:13 AM
Hmmm... I think I can identify with Lisa's dad. I went through a similar type of thing with her mother. We got ours sorted out when she was 17 though. Doesn't change my opinion of her mother however.

Glad your brother is doing ok. I know what fun knees can be. The docs keep telling me I need to get mine replaced and I keep telling them that as long as I can still walk, it ain't gonna happen.

Also delighted to hear about Charlie's younger brother. Wonder if he'll be born wearing a red hoodie? :unsure:

Tom (:macwave:... all good news!)

01-05-2012, 11:21 AM
Lisa feels more like an Aga at the moment :lol:

have to play more with Charlie but too busy getting the nursery ready at the moment - at least Lisas new found Dad can enjoy at least one grandchild being born :)

01-05-2012, 12:59 PM
Oh my you have had a lot going on :hug2: I hope things work out between Lisa and her Dad, it will take time, but who knows :hug2:

I can understand your relief with your brother; I'm not surprised you were worried. I feel for him, having severe arthritis and no cartillage it's very painful and can get you down, I can't imagine what it must be like to have cysts as well. I had an arthroscopy which flushed out my loose pieces of bone, it wasn't a cure but it did help a bit, it stopped my knee giving out when bits of bone got caught.

01-05-2012, 02:20 PM
They have spoken a few times on the phone which is good and he has sent Thomas some music to play.

It was strange to vsit them and walking into the lounge the walls were covered with photos of us that have been sent via email over the intervening time.

I'm sure it will work out but it is an awful lot of wasted time and , as I said, has brought up some very very unpleasant feelings towards Lisas mum that can never now be reconciled.

What has been very helpful in all this is that Lisas step dad, who is effectively her father, has been very supportive of them meeting. As I understand it something similar happened to him in his first marriage and he has no idea where his kids are and what they are doing. To me that is incomprehensible - my kids are part of me.

Mr Bro will need major surgery in several stages and because of his age a replacement is not ideal as it will need redoing many times over - the chap is a leading light in stem cell reseach so they are hoping that may be an option at some point. The sad thing is he will be oon crutches/in a wheelchair/not driving when his baby is born. However, as I pointed out to him, if it had indeed been a sarcoma , he may not have been here come christmas

01-05-2012, 05:48 PM
Wow, good news on two fronts Chris. Glad to hear that things are on the upswing with Lisa's dad. As I think you know I recently had a reunion with a long lost sister, whom I had never met. It wasn't anywhere near as emotional as Lisa's was however.

02-05-2012, 02:01 AM
It's the one unchangeable thing about time, eh...you can never recapture it. If we'd all be a little more mindful of that from time to time, this world would probably be a more gentle place. Tough things, relationships. :hug2:

Glad to hear things are looking well for the baby and your brother.

03-05-2012, 01:10 PM
Hey mate,
So glad to hear that the prognosis for your bro was much better than your fears. I know you were going through it..

Glad to hear that a window has opened somewhat for Lisa. Strange how you think you know what is the reality but then you learn that was just not the case. My DW has just this week learned something similar about her parent's divorce that rocked her reality. I am glad that she at least has the support of dad....and that her bio dad would love to be part of your lives. She has the ball in her court to make the decision.

Haven't been here too much myself mate. But always great to hear from you.:yes:

03-05-2012, 09:01 PM
Glad to hear that your brother's knee is not as bad as you were expecting. Lisa's story is amazing and it is really nice that her stepdad is helping her along the way. I know she can't get all those years back but hopefully they will have a great relationship, especially as he'll get to see the baby growing up :)

Have you thought of a name yet?

03-05-2012, 10:05 PM
Thanks for your kind words guys :yes:

No set name yet, have 2 or 3 and we'll wait to meet him before we decide I think.

06-05-2012, 09:57 PM

Big hug to Lisa, it must not be easy, so many mixed feelings

Glad the baby is groeing :). Csnt wait to meet him!

07-05-2012, 10:11 AM
Glad things are okay with you and some good news. Hope things will develop between Lisa and Dad.

Good to see you back here.