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View Full Version : 15yr old school girl who ran off with teacher



disneymom
29-09-2012, 10:08 AM
I'm surprised there's no comments on it yet

So this is a 15yr old girl who was holding hands with her 30yr old maths teacher on school trips, everyone knew they were having some kind of relationship but the school did nothing

finally he runs away with her to France

They've now been found, he's been arrested and she's returned to England.

I'm amazed how many people seem to think its ok and teachers especially. I've even heard of english teachers telling their classes its like romeo and juliet and very romantic.

is it just me or is being a parent hard enough these days without not being able to trust the people supposed to be looking after children during the day?

I hope they make an example of him but what about the girl? Shouldnt she have known right from wrong at 15?? or was she so blinded by the relationship?

Tink
29-09-2012, 11:48 AM
You ask good questions. I too believe that at 15 someone has the understanding of life to be able to know right from wrong. She had to know she was worrying her parents, at least.

Parenting is extremely complex in this "day and age" and yes, having persons in a position of trust who go on to abuse that trust only make a parent's job that much more difficult (and quite honestly, frightening).

We don't want to turn today's children into paranoid fearful adults, but it's hard not to warn them that ANYONE can be dangerous. :(

We have things like this happen in the US all too often as well, so this is not something new here by any means. There are frequent reports in the news about teachers having sexual contact with their students. :( (Both women and men teachers, by the way).

Johnie
29-09-2012, 02:48 PM
I completely understand how the 15 yr old would think this is the best thing in the world. They don't see the big picture. BUT what is wrong with the adult??!!! I can't even imagine doing that. It's just wrong.

That being said, yes maybe they are soul mates blah blah blah. Well then wait till she is 18 and an adult and not your student and behave accordingly.

Britchick
29-09-2012, 03:23 PM
i don't think that a 15 year old is mature enough to properly understand the consequences and realities of relationships and that is why we have the age of consent. She has been seduced by an older man, and i lay most of the blame at his door. For those who are in a position of trust it is unacceptable for them to behave like this. We're not talking about someone who finds out a girl he's picked up in a bar is underage after the event we are talking about a Teacher. It is abuse, end of story. Having said that a 15 year old does know right from wrong and she has exercised poor judgement, we have all done that i think, although on a less grand scale! Being the focus of the media and having to live with this for the rest of her life is punishment enough i think.

mumof2
29-09-2012, 08:24 PM
When I was young we had family friends a few doors away from us. The parents used to foster children and had a fair few passing though their door over the years, some of whom I became friends with.

When I was 15/16 and in my last year at school they fostered a girl my age and we bacame good friends, spending a great deal of time together, boyfriends and all that teenage stuff!

Another friend and I grew very suspicious when she started meeting her foster father every lunchtime, and more often than not being given a lift to school by him when previously she'd walked with us.

We talked it over and over and within a couple of weeks decided we should approach our head of year, she listened and called the foster mother who wasn't at all convinced there was anything between them.

They moved house to another part of town and we were even more convinced than ever when we found him walking out of her bedroom, both wearing robes. It was around this time that we all left high school.

Fast forward a couple of weeks to the Father dropping the Mother and their own children at her Mother's promising to collect her at tea time. He didn't arrive.

They made the national news and some weeks later were found working in a pub in Wales. He returned to the family home, i can't remember where she went. The marriage broke down and they went their separate ways. I lost touch with the family.

Some years later I found out the foster father and foster daughter had reformed their relationship, married and had 2 children. They stayed together for a number of years before splitting up.

I am vaguely in touch with the real daughter and son who were family friends before this all happened, i'm not sure where the father is now but know they are all happy in their relationship with their half siblings.

I will never forget the worry my friend and I went through as we began to realise something was happening between foster father and child, how we realised we absoultely had to voice our concerns only, and how we felt when the mother didn't believe (or accept) that anything untoward was happening.

She's a lovely, lovely lady who was terribly hurt at what her husband had done.

I know he wasn't her teacher but he was given responsibilty for this troubled child and even though she was rather 'advanced' it was absolutely shocking, as are all these cases.

I mean, I know relationships like this can work out well but it's wrong, even when the younger person turns 16.

uscwest
29-09-2012, 08:42 PM
He is definitely in the wrong here. He is supposed to be teaching his students not seducing them. Unfortunately we see this from both sides of the fence with female teachers and male students as well as the side described here. Personally I think he should go to prison.

Johnie
29-09-2012, 09:31 PM
I don't doubt that the younger person used their wiles to seduce the older person. BUT the adult should know better and put a stop to it.

We had a very famous story here in the states where a female teacher was involved with her 13 year old student. She left her husband and 4 kids. Hot pregnant with the 13 year olds child. She went to prison and everything. She's out now. The boy is an adult and they are married. Personally I cannot imagine what I would ever have in common with a 13 year old.

foreverducky
30-09-2012, 12:11 AM
I remember that case Johnie, I believe they now live in either WA or OR.

foreverducky
30-09-2012, 12:19 AM
I feel for the children, for the simple fact that they will not truly understand this situation until they are older.

I remember my driver's ed teacher being the most attractive person I knew at the time. To be honest, I would have done anything for him (back then) and not thought twice about it. Of course, he was always professional and appropriate....but had he not been, I wouldn't have understood the gravity of the situation until much later.

Johnie
30-09-2012, 02:12 AM
So very true. Children and teens have no idea of the consequences. They may know something is wrong but no clue as to how it will affect everyone.

Sam
01-10-2012, 01:14 PM
I remember when I was 15 I played basketball for our local ladies national league team. Every Wednesday evening both the male and female teams trained together. I remember that during that time my school took on a new PE teacher who was very good looking and young. All the girls swooned over him and you can imagine the shock when one night at training in walked this new teacher who had just started playing for the male team.

When I told my friends at school, suddenly I had a lot turning up to watch me train. One of the girls, who was always dressed older and I think even got 'engaged' when she was 13 completely threw herself at him. She tried everything she could to get him to ask her out and although you could tell he was flattered and was charmed by her (she was very pretty and did look more like 18 years old), he was very gracious but basically told her to leave him alone.

A few years later we chatted about her and I did ask was he ever interested. He admitted that he could have been easily tempted and apparently she even turned up at his house a few times. But he accepted that she was still a child and that to him it would be nothing less than child molesting, even though he was actually only 7 years old than her.

My point is that she was very persistent and we did only have a few months left until we left school, but he new he was in a position of responsibility. Whilst this young girl Megan may think that she was grown up, she is still too young to understand the consequences of her actions. At that age she is blinkered and under this illusion that she is in love.

The teacher on the other hand should be dealt with heavily. Like someone mentioned before it would have been slightly different if he had met her in a bar and was unaware of her age. As a parent we send our children to school or even sports groups, scouts, etc and expect these people to behave responsibly. I can't even imagine how I would cope if it had been my daughter, the thought of what they had been doing all this time, the thought of him taking her innocence. I have to admit I really feel for his parents, those poor people were devasted, the embarrassment they have to live with knowing what their son did. That man is a disgrace and should be made an example, he has no excuses. Can anyone please tell me what a 30 year old man could possibly have in common with a 15 year old girl? :stormmad:

keith
01-10-2012, 01:46 PM
I did some lecturing whilst doing my phd research work. I guess I was about 23/24 and I was teaching undergrads so they'd be 18/19. Not a huge difference in age which I suppose makes it all the more awkward in a way.

I worked along side a guy who was part timing as a male model :lol: way to wreck one's self esteem! Anyway he had his share of interest but likewise so did I which just went to prove to me, in that situation it's less about looks and more about positions of "power" and trust.

Anyway, being rather silly young guys, we rather enjoyed the attention but were always very careful not to encourage anything.. not for angelic or moral reasons but rather more because the pay was great and it was a good gig!

One day we were in the department office and it wasn't unusual for us to be sent silly little gifts.. chocolate, funny letters, whatever. Anyway the department secretary, a somewhat old, rather large and fearsome character, yelled at us for a good 30 mins straight about how we had NO idea what we were doing and a game to us was likely very much more serious at the other end of things. No good could come etc etc. I remember one line even now, "by 15 a girl has more emotional intelligence than a man will get in his whole life! you're BOTH in trouble you're just too damn naive to know it"

oops :/

Of course looking back she was absolutely right. We were trusted and needed to understand that it wasn't in any way a social situation it was a professional situation. I think we did to an extent but the young ladies were so persistent that we both thought we were being saintly not going further than a quick flirt when of course, that was inappropriate and too far in and of itself.

Anyway, the wrath of the department secretary scared the heck out of us and so we really did try to be approachable without being too friendly. Led to several instances of trying to negotiate with a sobbing undergrad locked in a toilet though.

Of course, no one concerned was underage but then what's the age other than an arbitrarily decided figure anyway. The point is that in a position of trust like that, it's for the professional to act responsibly.

It's definitely the teacher's fault. It was definitely our fault in the story above but I can SOOOOOOOOO understand why it happened.

Watchinherskip
02-10-2012, 04:34 PM
I really don't know what is wrong with this world! How can that teacher do that? As a teacher I was always on my guard to make sure that even the slightest bit of impropriety would not be allowed. Too much harm can come from someone even suggesting an improper relationship. I never would accept kids in my lab or room without keeping the door open, letting a neighboring teacher know that I had kids in the room, or having some sort of witness. It is a shame but that is the life that one has to lead. You could meet in the hallways, or library, but never alone in a room or office.

That teacher needs incarceration. Just my opinion.