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Shogun
19-01-2009, 04:54 PM
I told Liz that I would get her a new laptop for her birthday next week. Today we went out and bought one but now we have had a big row and she has told me to take it back as she no longer wants it because I won't give it to her today and want to keep it for her birthday next week.
If I give it now there will be nothing for her to open on her birthday but she says that is OK.
If it was you would you want your prezzie early and not have anything on your birthday.

It would really upset me if there was nothing to give her.

mumof2
19-01-2009, 05:02 PM
awww Liz :hug2:

I'd want to have it early too but I think it would be better to wait so it's all brand new on my birthday, so I agree with you!

Tink
19-01-2009, 05:03 PM
Ummmm...sorry that you are both having a bad day. :hug2:

Honestly, I can't (won't?) answer this one, but I will ask a question of my own.

What is the purpose of the gift? To give Liz something on a particular day, or to show that you love her enough to give her a gift? :unsure:

Dawn
19-01-2009, 05:06 PM
Did you tell Liz you were buying it as a birthday gift?

If it was me and I was told it was a birthday gift I would wait until the day before opening the box. But if I was given it early I wouldn't expect another present on the actual day.


:hug2: for you both as well.

mumof2
19-01-2009, 05:10 PM
On thinking about it though if you give it to Liz now, she'd know it was her birthday present and not expect anything on the day - perhaps if you give it to her early then a lovely bunch of flowers would be nice for the actual day? :hug2:

keith
19-01-2009, 05:13 PM
I'm the worst for this.

As a kid, everyone wanted their presents NOW, then some way on the way to becoming an adult I guess people stopped doing that and I never did :lol:

So Ive been through this one :D

My take on it is that it is, of course, the giver's decision whether or not to gift early. Simple as that.

BUT my mitigating argument as recipient is this. If I'm an adult (there's still much debate on that one), and I promise that I understand that won't be anything else on the actual day, then you should consider honouring my wishes and giving it early because that's how I feel it'll maximise my happiness which is what the gift was about in the first place :yes:

lisaw
19-01-2009, 05:19 PM
Hmm it's a difficult one :hug2:

I think the fact that Liz knows what she is getting makes a difference - and it is only a week away.

If I knew what i was getting and if it was something I would get some benefit out of having 'now' then I would probably want to have it early and the fact that it is only a week away I would be happy knowing there wasn't anything else.

If it was something bought as a surprise i certainly would like to receive it on my actual birthday.

I guess I can see it both sides - hope you can come to an agreement. :)

Shogun
19-01-2009, 05:23 PM
Last night when I metioned the laptop I said that if we got one today that it was to be given on her birthday which she said was ok as she had already opened an early present.
It would make me feel really mean if there was nothing to open on the actual date but the consensus seems to be to give it now.

Deb
19-01-2009, 05:24 PM
No, you're not being unreasonable...as the Giver you want to be able to make her actual birthday extra special, and getting excited about presents for your birthday is part of the fun! I'm of the school that would want to wait for my present.

However...when you've both chosen it together and know what it is and it won't be a surprise on the day...well, maybe today and actually choosing it IS the excitement for her, and playing with it today would enhance that excitement...and opening it on her birthday would not be as much fun.

I can totally understand your feelings and you'll be disappointed on the day to not have anything to give her, but maybe as it's her birthday and that's how she wants it, then maybe you celebrate her birthday by fulfilling her wishes and giving her what she wants?

No right or wrong answer here, apart from doing what feels the most loving I suppose :unsure:

And as Mumof2 said earlier, maybe a special bouquet on the day, and a very lovely card will bring her just as much pleasure. And the meal you'll cook her, the champagne you'll pour ;)

mumof2
19-01-2009, 05:26 PM
Last night when I metioned the laptop I said that if we got one today that it was to be given on her birthday which she said was ok as she had already opened an early present.
It would make me feel really mean if there was nothing to open on the actual date but the consensus seems to be to give it now.

oooooh! difficult then, I'm not sure now :hug2:

mumof2
19-01-2009, 05:27 PM
And as Mumof2 said earlier, maybe a special bouquet on the day, and a very lovely card will bring her just as much pleasure. And the meal you'll cook her, the champagne you'll pour ;)


that does sound lovely doesn't it! :yes:

Deb
19-01-2009, 05:28 PM
Last night when I metioned the laptop I said that if we got one today that it was to be given on her birthday which she said was ok as she had already opened an early present.
It would make me feel really mean if there was nothing to open on the actual date but the consensus seems to be to give it now.

Not sure either with that...she must be REALLY excited to get her laptop.

:hug2:to you both

Disneybumble
19-01-2009, 06:05 PM
I'm not being drawn on it but l hope you come to a satisfactory conclusion for you both.

Claire
19-01-2009, 06:42 PM
My answer is simple. My birthday is the day after tomorrow. My new and very lovely handbag had been on my arm for just under a week. :D I will not worry about not having anything to open on the day. If DH had insisted I wait till my birthday before I could use it I probably would have struggled with that knowing it was in the house.

wdwgrandma
19-01-2009, 06:47 PM
I'm kind of the same way as many of the others... I don't mind getting my present early - even if it's all I get. It just doesn't seem worth being upset about.

Britchick
19-01-2009, 06:56 PM
is there no way you can negotiate the deal? :tongue:

sorry that's not helpful, there is no right answer methinks!

mumof2
19-01-2009, 07:40 PM
I'm not being drawn on it but l hope you come to a satisfactory conclusion for you both.


That's very diplomatic of you Siobhan :yes:

Mari
19-01-2009, 07:57 PM
umm... well... I dont think you ar ebeing unreasonable, however.... you already have the present, and it sjust sitting there, and she's dying to use it, and will be very very excited getting it now.. so.. why wait??

Shogun
19-01-2009, 08:49 PM
Thanks for all your replies. The lady is now setting allsorts of things up on her new laptop.
I still thing that birthdays are for making things special with prezzies and things though.

Tink
19-01-2009, 08:49 PM
:hug2: You are a good and loving man, Shogun. (From now on, hide those presents, eh? :wink: :hug1: ).

mumof2
19-01-2009, 08:52 PM
Thanks for all your replies. The lady is now setting allsorts of things up on her new laptop.
I still thing that birthdays are for making things special with prezzies and things though.


aww bless you for making Liz happy :hug2:

Don't forget the flowers!

Britchick
19-01-2009, 08:54 PM
awwwwwww :hug2:

keith
19-01-2009, 08:54 PM
You've done great Shogun :yes:

daveann
19-01-2009, 08:56 PM
aw as long as she is happy thats all that counts :)

Ilovesnowwhitej
19-01-2009, 08:57 PM
Just seen this and my opinion for whats its worth;

How long did you want to be in the dog house lol as you have given her the laptop i can assume not long. All she needs on her birthday is a nice card and a hug; a pricless gift.
xx