PDA

View Full Version : Funny Bit on Retierment



Watchinherskip
06-05-2009, 04:07 PM
Wife sent this to me - is she worried about me and retirement?

After
> > I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her
> > trips to
> > Wal-Mart
> >
> > Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
> > and preferred to get in and get out. Equally
> > unfortunately, my wife is like most women -
> > - she loved to browse.
> >
> > Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter
> > from the local Wal-Mart manager
> >
> > Dear Mrs. Samuel,
> >
> > Over the past six months, your husband has been causing
> > quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this
> > behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the
> > store. Our complaints against Mr. Samuel are listed below
> > and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
> >
> > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
> > them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
> >
> > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go
> > off at 5-minute intervals.
> >
> > 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
> > leading to the women's restroom..
> >
> > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
> > official voice, 'Code 5 in Housewares. Get on it right
> > away.'
> >
> > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a
> > bag of M&M's on layaway.
> >
> > 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign
> > to a carpeted area.
> >
> > 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
> > and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they
> > would bring pillows and blankets
> > from the bedding department.
> >
> > 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him
> > he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you
> > people just leave me alone?'
> >
> > 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera
> > and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
> >
> > 10. September 10: :point:While handling guns in the hunting
> > department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
> > were.
> >
> > 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
> > while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible'
> > theme.
> >
> > 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
> > 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of
> > funnels.
> >
> > 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
> > browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
> >
> > 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud
> > speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH
> > NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
> >
> > And last, but not least.
> >
> > 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
> > waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
> > There's no toilet paper in here.'

foreverducky
06-05-2009, 04:10 PM
:laughhard:

That's is so funny!!!!

sunsetlakes
06-05-2009, 04:49 PM
Very good - I love No:15 :laugh2:

mumof2
06-05-2009, 04:53 PM
:point:excellent!!

Taja
07-05-2009, 03:22 PM
Funny!

:lol:

Jodie
08-05-2009, 03:45 PM
I love number's 11 & 13!

Tinkfan
10-05-2009, 03:26 AM
:ROFL1::ROFL1: