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Johnie
23-06-2009, 02:52 PM
I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I swear I can't even convey to you what I am feeling right now. How can I have been so stupid for so long? I should be smacked :slap:

daveann
23-06-2009, 03:01 PM
johnie i put up with my ex for 23 years then i met Dave and discovered what real love and affection is :)

chin up hun :hug:

Johnie
23-06-2009, 03:05 PM
When this is all said and done, I am getting "never again" tattooed on my ring finger.

I'm glad to hear there can be a happy ending :yes:

wdwgrandma
23-06-2009, 03:05 PM
sending you a great big hug...
<hug></hug>

MystikPiglit
23-06-2009, 03:15 PM
When this is all said and done, I am getting "never again" tattooed on my ring finger.
I'm glad to hear there can be a happy ending :yes:

Oh dear.. :hug2::hug2::hug2::hug2:

I put up with my Ex for 20years. I would have bet anyone, at that time, a million pounds that I would never marry again. Then I met my darling...accepted his proposal within 3 months. We've been happily married now for 14years. Yes, there can definitely be a happy ending. Usually when you least expect it. :yes:

Mari
23-06-2009, 03:16 PM
:hug2:

I think this is one of the hardest and bravest decisions you will ever make Johnie.

Just know that you are not alone

Johnie
23-06-2009, 03:19 PM
Thank you everyone :hug2: ya'll meant the world to me.

josh.p.
23-06-2009, 03:23 PM
:hug2: We are all here for you, It must be a very hard decision for you but it shall be for the best. :hug2:

Dawn
23-06-2009, 03:25 PM
:hug2:

Deb
23-06-2009, 03:26 PM
Johnie hun, I too can vouch for a happy ending after years of putting up with someone...and you most certainly should not be smacked!! We all tolerate things longer than we should for all sorts of reasons...

You'll be good, more than good :hug2::hug2: You're a brilliant strong woman :yes:

Dizneyblonde
23-06-2009, 03:28 PM
:hug2:

I survived hun with the help of friends and Disney.

With you all the way.

Isafari
23-06-2009, 03:29 PM
:hug2: you will be happy again :hug2:

lisaw
23-06-2009, 03:39 PM
:hug2::hug2::hug2: Johnie :hug2:

ukwdwnut
23-06-2009, 03:41 PM
awwwww hun we are all here for you johnie :hug2:

i have 1st hand exp of how dizzy has done on her own and i think shes done great and her kids are a credit to her so dont put up with something for the sake of just coz your there/familiarity.

Shellyamc
23-06-2009, 03:41 PM
So sorry :hug2:

The hardest decisions to make are usually the best..they are the ones that change our lives for the better.

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down! :yes:

foreverducky
23-06-2009, 03:47 PM
Stay strong. :hug2:

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I didn't know anything was going. :unsure:

I put with BS for 10 years and I am so much happier alone. :yes:

Debbie2
23-06-2009, 03:55 PM
:hug2:Keep your chin up, Johnie. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger :hug2:

Johnie
23-06-2009, 03:56 PM
I keep so much of it to myself. I'm embarrassed that I have put up with it. I'm embarrassed that I have allowed myself to be treated this way. He is crazy and won't take his medication. He is a cheater and a liar. I can tell you that absolutely no agency will help me though. Not unless he's hitting me or threatening to hit me.

ukwdwnut
23-06-2009, 04:01 PM
I keep so much of it to myself. I'm embarrassed that I have put up with it. I'm embarrassed that I have allowed myself to be treated this way. He is crazy and won't take his medication. He is a cheater and a liar. I can tell you that absolutely no agency will help me though. Not unless he's hitting me or threatening to hit me.

awww johnie dont be embarrassed about it, im guessing you do it coz of love or just scared to go it alone, but ive learnt from my recent experience and it wont happen again...do what you need to do hun ok :hug2:

Mags
23-06-2009, 04:06 PM
Im so sorry. What a hard decision to make. xx

Margaret

SleepinCatz
23-06-2009, 04:12 PM
Alright my Dove....I have 3 ex husbands under my belt ( 1 physical abuser, One mental abuser and one enabler with a mean streak)...so know that i truly truly know where you are right now. You have already taken the first step...recognition of truth. Now take the next one and find a divorce attorney. NOW...don't hesitate..rip off the bandage and get on with it. DO NOT SUFFER ONE MORE DAY! And when you have second thoughts....wonder in the dark of night "what the hell am i doing?" You call me. My Hubby and I are have helped a few friends walk out of the darkness into the bright light of a new dawn.

we love you Johnnie...you know that :)

Johnie
23-06-2009, 04:16 PM
I have a lawyer. I can't even get divorced without being separated for at least 6 months. He won't leave! I am apparently going to have to move out of the house I pay for because he won't leave and no one will make him leave.

SleepinCatz
23-06-2009, 04:18 PM
is the house rented?

Johnie
23-06-2009, 04:19 PM
Yes. They said they won't get involved.

mumof2
23-06-2009, 04:20 PM
i just don't know what to say to you hun, here are some heartfelt hugs instead :hug2::hug2::hug2::hug2:

SleepinCatz
23-06-2009, 04:25 PM
then let them know you are moving out and have your name pulled from the lease.

Britchick
23-06-2009, 04:27 PM
it is not your fault and you know that, be strong and you know where i am :hug2:

SleepinCatz
23-06-2009, 04:29 PM
I know this sucks...he's the one in the wrong and you are the one having to do all the moving out and crud. But seriously....look really deep and ask yourself...do you really want to stay somewhere with so many bad memories? You light up a room when you walk in....just imagine all the great memories you will make in a new place!

Mari
23-06-2009, 04:29 PM
then let them know you are moving out and have your name pulled from the lease.

yeap!

exactly!

even if youlose some deposit money, it will still be less than having to pay for the rest of the lease....

uscwest
23-06-2009, 04:31 PM
:hug2::hug2: Sorry to hear you are going through all this Johnie.

Johnie
23-06-2009, 04:34 PM
I knwo you are right Catz. It just doesn't seem fair. Of course, life isn't fair.

SleepinCatz
23-06-2009, 04:37 PM
It's not fair. But for whatever reason it's allowed....it sucks...

But...again...this is a chance for a new view and the continuation of the better part of your life :)

Mari
23-06-2009, 04:37 PM
I knwo you are right Catz. It just doesn't seem fair. Of course, life isn't fair.

:hug2:

No.. unfortunatly it isnt fair....

But this shall pass Johnie, and you will be a HAPPIER person :yes:

SleepinCatz
23-06-2009, 04:47 PM
When the divorce is final I say as many of us as possible need to get together and celebrate at WDW with you. Have a big "Welcome to Happiness Johnnie" weekend. I'm going to start putting a little money aside now cause I wouldn't miss that for the world:)

Mari
23-06-2009, 04:51 PM
When the divorce is final I say as many of us as possible need to get together and celebrate at WDW with you. Have a big "Welcome to Happiness Johnnie" weekend. I'm going to start putting a little money aside now cause I wouldn't miss that for the world:)
:thumbsup:

Even if I have to drive all the way from Mexico! :yes:

Johnie
23-06-2009, 04:55 PM
:tongue: that makes me smile :hug2:

SleepinCatz
23-06-2009, 05:19 PM
:hug2: good...cause it's just a little stormy outside right now...The sun ALWAYS shines again :hug2:

Tinkerbell
23-06-2009, 05:40 PM
:hug2::hug2: stay strong hun :hug2::hug2:

Jazmine
23-06-2009, 06:17 PM
Aww johnie hon so sorry things aint good for you right now, been there :yes: and i agree with the others, there is a special someone for everyone :hug2:here if you need to YELLLLL :hug2:
Jacqui xxxx

Disneybumble
23-06-2009, 06:50 PM
Johnie my love:hug2:.
YOU are a strong woman who now needs to dig deep.YOU and your baby girl deserve a happy life. I don't have wisdom or experience but l know you to be a kind,strong,caring and forgiving person. So l know you must be pushed to the limit. Take care hun and know we as your friends will support you.

Just to add ... Catz you are such a lovely person with such kind and encouraging words:hug2:

kazzaqld
23-06-2009, 07:25 PM
Johnie I am so sorry you are going through this - I wish I wasn't so far away. But I am sending you love and hugs from all the way over here! :hug2:

That party sounds like an awesome idea! :yes:

Take care and let us know how you are and how we can help, ok!

sunsetlakes
23-06-2009, 08:37 PM
When this is all said and done, I am getting "never again" tattooed on my ring finger.
:yes:

Oh bless, it does get better and I should know!! I threatened to have "another one bites the dust" at my wedding - but am pleased to say that this time i've been really lucky and have a wonderful man that treats me great and we've been together 17 years - keep the faith :hug2:

SleepinCatz
23-06-2009, 08:40 PM
Do you have family nearby Johnnie? Really good friends?





Just to add ... Catz you are such a lovely person with such kind and encouraging words

Thank you for that :)

josh.p.
23-06-2009, 08:46 PM
If you are having a gathering for Johnie, make it for summer '10!!! :yes:

SleepinCatz
23-06-2009, 09:01 PM
:) Free dinning time...not a bad idea Josh :)

Johnie
23-06-2009, 09:14 PM
:tongue: free dining...I have rubbed off on ya'll!

My parents and sister are close by. I do have some good friends close by. I must say that I have some truly awesome friends on here :hug2:

luvthemouse
23-06-2009, 10:00 PM
:hug2:You know I'm here.... Love ya!!!

SleepinCatz
23-06-2009, 10:01 PM
:) Yes you have lol.

Good. It makes it much easier to have people in your corner within driving distance :)

Tink
23-06-2009, 10:39 PM
You already know EXACTLY how I feel. :hug2:

A rental house? Piff. Your peace is worth far more than a rental ever will be. A new nice place all your own... that's the way to go.

Have your name removed from the lease. Give them notice in writing that you will no longer pay the rent from a given date forward. Have the attorney review all of it for you first, of course.

Fly to Reno...hey, other people do. Quick divorce and all that. It's not like you have children or real estate together. :hug2:

I'm so very proud of you for stepping up and realizing that enough is enough. :hug2:

Johnie
23-06-2009, 11:43 PM
Can I tell you how fast I was googling Reno divorces? I have to be a Nevada resident for 6 weeks in order to do that.

Or I could go stay in Guam for 7 days and get one.

But, he seems to want to contest this so I don't think I have any options than all the stupid rigamarole that goes on here in Virginia.

josh.p.
23-06-2009, 11:44 PM
How can someone contest a divorce? Surely if one person in the marriage is not happy then that is enough grounds to get divorced?

Johnie
23-06-2009, 11:55 PM
Crazy isn't it? You can still get a divorce even if the other person doesn't want it but you have to go to court and all this nonsense. He has had the nerve to tell me he's going to sue me for alimony!

SleepinCatz
24-06-2009, 12:21 AM
U have got to be kidding me....The loser is actually fighting a divorce and ontop of that he wants alimonY???

Johnie
24-06-2009, 12:22 AM
I know, right?

foreverducky
24-06-2009, 12:27 AM
Do you have alimony in VA? We don't have that in Indiana.

Not to be the downer of the group, but I know of two divorces that took over 3 years to get as the other person kept getting continuations. :(

Stick to your guns Johnie and fight for yourself and what is best for you. It's likely to get harder before it gets easier.

I am here if you want to scream, yell, cry, or just talk. :D Anytime (I even wake up really fast).

SleepinCatz
24-06-2009, 12:28 AM
OMG what a loser....

Johnnie darlin...you deserve so much more than that thing! Somewhere out there is the one...and he will take away all this bs and make it a distant memory. I swore I was never EVER letting another man into my life....and There he was...looking for bread crumbs at Albertsons.

Let's get this bum on his way so a real Man can find his way home!

*Bambi-Belle*
24-06-2009, 12:38 AM
Hugs xxxxxxxxxxx :hug2: Stay strong hun. :sorry:

Johnie
24-06-2009, 12:50 AM
3 years? Ugh.

Yes, there is alimony in Virginia. It can be a one time payment or an ongoing thing. My lawyer says the judge is likely to feel sympathetic towards me and not grant it to him.

I called a private investigator to see about hiring him. Apparently everyone in our city knows he is cheating on me yet he keeps denying it.

I also have a tape recorder where I have recorded 4 tapes of abusive messages so far......

PsychoAlice
24-06-2009, 02:16 AM
Dont you know someone with hungry pigs?

Mari
24-06-2009, 03:06 AM
HE will get what he deserves... dont you worry about that

and dont let him get to you.. thats just what he wants, to make you angry, to make you desperate, to make you hate him...

You know.. the WORST for any human being if indifference....

as long as you hate him, you are acknowledging him... but, he is not worth it, he is not worth your energy...

:hug2:

we will find a solution... even if you do have to go to court... you will get through this, and you can just view the court proceedings as paret of the cleansing process :) ... ANYTHING to get you out of that situation

Tink
24-06-2009, 03:27 AM
Yes, I knew about the six weeks residency for Reno. Not sure why I thought you could do that? :unsure:

Get the private detective. Seriously. If I had done that for Seth's Da, we'd be done with the nonsense today. It will be pricey, but all you really need is some good evidence and that should take care of any of that other absolutely stupid stuff (alimony indeed).

Number one priority is to keep yourself safe. :hug2: You just want all of this horrid nasty stuff to go away. :hug2:

uscwest
24-06-2009, 10:55 AM
Number one priority is to keep yourself safe. :hug2: You just want all of this horrid nasty stuff to go away. :hug2:

Well put Tink, I was trying to think of a gentle way to state that myself.

MystikPiglit
24-06-2009, 11:25 AM
Get the private detective. but all you really need is some good evidence and that should take care of any of that other absolutely stupid stuff (alimony indeed).

I agree. It'll be worth the cost.

Johnie, a bit of anger is good because it gives you strength but don't let it eat you up. Take care of yourself. :comfort:

PsychoAlice
24-06-2009, 12:32 PM
What I learned from the Sean incident is that as long as you hate him the more power he has to hurt you...

SleepinCatz
24-06-2009, 01:16 PM
He's a bug....beneath your notice. Don't let him dim that light within you. Anger is your right! You gave him your heart and this is what you got in return. But please don't let it consume you. Hire the detective, cover your bases and plan that trip to Disney with us!

This my darlin is a case of mind over matter....you no longer mind cause he no longer matters!

Rosie0610
24-06-2009, 03:54 PM
So sorry you are going through this Johnie :comfort: No one should ever have to endure something like this.

Please keep your chin up and look to friends and relatives to help you keep a smile on your face!

Mari
24-06-2009, 04:49 PM
This my darlin is a case of mind over matter....you no longer mind cause he no longer matters!

this is the BEST advice ever! and its soooo true!

Ursula
24-06-2009, 05:52 PM
Oh no I had no idea :( I'm so so sorry hunny XXXXXXXXXX Please stay strong, there IS a light at the end of this particular tunnel.

Claire
24-06-2009, 06:16 PM
:hug2::hug2::hug2::hug2:

Johnie
24-06-2009, 06:52 PM
:tongue: hungry pigs indeed

I certainly think the PI will be money well spent....maybe he'll look like Tom Selleck :yes:

Catz, that is the best advice ever!

Seriously...you want to know what his silly bi-polar self did this morning? Acted like everything was aok with us. Wanted us to talk and what do we need to do to work this out? Ummm....yeah I gave you those options a couple of months ago and you didn't do anything. I am so over this.

SleepinCatz
24-06-2009, 06:56 PM
There ya go my Dove!!! Full steam ahead!!! Once clear of this mess and the dust settles we can all discuss dates and get this party underway!

Rosie0610
24-06-2009, 07:20 PM
:Seriously...you want to know what his silly bi-polar self did this morning? Acted like everything was aok with us. Wanted us to talk and what do we need to do to work this out? Ummm....yeah I gave you those options a couple of months ago and you didn't do anything. I am so over this.

Seems like he's realizing that he's lost you.

Pull a "Gone With the Wind" on him Johnie, except you get to not give a damn!!

foreverducky
24-06-2009, 08:02 PM
Keep strong! :yes:

Mari
24-06-2009, 09:51 PM
The hardest thing is making the decision

Once the decision is made, your heart and mind are at peace, and its time to get moving!!


And yes... we need some dates to start planning the party :)

Disneybumble
25-06-2009, 06:56 AM
Thinking of you again today Johnie.:hug2:

Ursula
25-06-2009, 07:04 AM
I don't get the Tom Selleck reference? was he a cheater then?

Dawn
25-06-2009, 07:08 AM
August 2010 may be a good time for the party. :D

:hug2: for Johnie.

Rosie0610
25-06-2009, 01:10 PM
I don't get the Tom Selleck reference? was he a cheater then?

No, No. Tom Selleck was Magnum PI!!! WIth the excellent mustache!

SleepinCatz
25-06-2009, 01:16 PM
I work a half day today so I will be back on this afternoon...but I just wanted to pop and say Good Morning Johnnie!!!! Fire up that 1000 watt smile of yours and light up some lives today ;)!

Dorothy
25-06-2009, 01:52 PM
Johnie my friend you KNOW how I feel about everything that is going on and that I will always be here for you :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

Mari
25-06-2009, 04:42 PM
I work a half day today so I will be back on this afternoon...but I just wanted to pop and say Good Morning Johnnie!!!! Fire up that 1000 watt smile of yours and light up some lives today ;)!

:yes: :D

Johnie
25-06-2009, 05:26 PM
No, No. Tom Selleck was Magnum PI!!! WIth the excellent mustache!

YES!YES! He was private investigator on tv back in the day. Very handsome. Of course, I was 11 and didn't appreciate the manliness. My friend did. Her parents should have been very scared :tongue:

MystikPiglit
25-06-2009, 05:31 PM
YES!YES! He was private investigator on tv back in the day. Very handsome. Of course, I was 11 and didn't appreciate the manliness. My friend did. Her parents should have been very scared :tongue:

:lol:

Have another :hug2:.

SleepinCatz
25-06-2009, 06:38 PM
:) LOL too funny...Mine should have been worried too LOL

mumof2
25-06-2009, 09:45 PM
honey i've missed something, but I'm guessing it's to do with those phone calls you were getting a while back and the accusations being made.

sorry for all your going through right now sweetie :hug2::hug2:

Johnie
26-06-2009, 12:40 AM
That's just the icing on the cake hon. It has been a long and troubled time coming.

Never feel jealous of any of my trips...it's about the only way I've kept some of my sanity.

SleepinCatz
26-06-2009, 12:47 AM
Nothing wrong with that.... I think in some way WDW is how we all keep it together. The one place where bad times do not invade...so what if there's a long line or any number of other things I have seen ppl gripe about on another place...we are in Disney and that's all that matters :)

If that's what makes it easier to get thru another day..then hoorah!

Tink
26-06-2009, 01:44 AM
Well there is always Kinsey Milhone too. :wink: :D

Johnie
26-06-2009, 02:43 AM
:tongue: you make me laugh Tink. I had to go google that one.

Tink
26-06-2009, 03:35 AM
As long as you are laughing, Baby. That's the key. :hug2:

Deb
26-06-2009, 05:33 AM
Johnie, I just wanted to pop in and give you a :hug2: and to remind you how awesome you are :thumbsup:

Tinkfan
26-06-2009, 01:23 PM
:hug2: Johnnie, I know it all seems overwhelming now but when you come to a decission on how to proceed you will really feel a great deal of relief. Many things will be unfair but it will be worth it in the end. Life has a way of evening out, when I finally left my first husband I missed alot of things but not sadly him. I never thought I would remarry or find someone else but life intervenes and in my case the Sister that was principal at the HS that I worked at! She introduced me to my future husband, a kinder ,better man than you'll ever meet. It will take awhile but it is so worth it. If you need to talk...

SleepinCatz
26-06-2009, 01:25 PM
Mornin Johnnie!!! Just popping in before work to say Have a fantstic day!!!

Watchinherskip
26-06-2009, 02:49 PM
Better off without this one Johnie, good riddence. Stay strong, keep your courage, I know you will come out of this in a much better place. You deserve better, I think this guy is coming to terms with that and realizes his stupidity. I am here if you need me, right in good old Virginny.

Johnie, Catz and others have provided great advice and support. We are all here for you should you need our help.

Johnie
28-06-2009, 02:11 AM
:crywave: good tears......I am truly blessed to know you all. You are such an awesome group of friends, my dear Secrets family.

Isafari
28-06-2009, 08:07 AM
:crywave: good tears......I am truly blessed to know you all. You are such an awesome group of friends, my dear Secrets family.

:hug2: we only want what's best for you :yes:

Ursula
28-06-2009, 09:42 AM
Aw Johnie sweetie XXXXXXXX There is another life out there just waiting for you to go and pick it up XXXXXXXX You are a beautiful soul and you WILL find your happiness, unfortunately we have to have lessons before we get our gifts :( Why that is I have no idea but it makes us more rounded... I keep saying I don't need to be any more rounded than I am but for some reason life is a learning curve. I'm still learning.

SleepinCatz
28-06-2009, 01:54 PM
Put a smile of that Pretty face girlie! otherwise i'm gonna get all teary eyed too lol

Johnie
29-06-2009, 04:23 PM
:naughty::censored::brickwall::madflames::stormmad ::furious::image103:


ok that's better

Mari
29-06-2009, 04:28 PM
:) glad you are letting it out...

ukwdwnut
29-06-2009, 04:35 PM
:crywave: good tears......I am truly blessed to know you all. You are such an awesome group of friends, my dear Secrets family.

awww hun, ive heard so much about you perhaps one day will get to met you too amongst others :hug2::hug2::hug2::hug2:

SleepinCatz
30-06-2009, 12:24 AM
looks like we may have had a bit of a bad time today....Keep your chin up! It's all uphill from here :)

Disneybumble
30-06-2009, 07:04 AM
Anger is good and when it's vented it's even better.
:hug2: for you and Alysia this morning my friend.

Johnie
30-06-2009, 06:47 PM
As Scarlett O'Hara would say, "tomorrow is another day".

Watchinherskip
30-06-2009, 07:16 PM
Hang in there Kiddo. You know we are thinking of you.

SleepinCatz
30-06-2009, 07:31 PM
ok...here's something that will make you laugh. Go to Youtube and search for " me and my JJ" it's from the penquins of madagascar the cartoon.....if that doesn't chase off the frowns nothing will lol!

Johnie
30-06-2009, 07:37 PM
:tongue:

SleepinCatz
30-06-2009, 08:34 PM
LOL that song seems to get caught in my head whenever the blood pressure starts to rise lol

Disfan
05-07-2009, 01:20 PM
:hug2:

Taja
06-07-2009, 01:06 AM
:hug2:

Sheesh, woman! I go away for a few days and get sick for a couple of weeks, and you turn your whole world upside down! Sounds as though it needs a good shaking up and you were maintaining a brave front for some time.

I hope you can resolve this quickly and move on with your life. Definitely notify your landlord that you will no longer be a responsible party (check with your attorney--he/she should be able to guide you as to what is appropriate in your state) on the lease and any other joint accounts. And open accounts in another financial institution in your name only--perhaps with your mother or Alysia as an emergency signator. You know me--back up plans for the back up plans! :rolleyes:

Rant, rave, laugh or cry all you want here, but never let him see you upset! You're always here for everyone--now it's our turn to support you. :)

:hug2:

Johnie
06-07-2009, 01:08 AM
Thanks Taja :hug2: Yes, mostly definitely a brave front for a long time.

tb2830
06-07-2009, 07:49 AM
:hug2: you know im thinking about you and if sarah and teresa can find the courage to do it then so can we........

and im pretty sure in months to come we will bother wonder why we didnt do it years ago

tracy xx

Isafari
06-07-2009, 08:18 AM
Tracy, Johnie, :hug2:

mainecoon lover
06-07-2009, 01:18 PM
Only just seen this post hun. Hope you are doing ok :hug2:

Shellyamc
06-07-2009, 02:48 PM
Just sending a little friend to wish you Happy Monday!!

Johnie
06-07-2009, 03:40 PM
:tongue: thank you Shelly! I have him at home....I beleive you were the one who showed him to me the first time.

piglet
11-07-2009, 01:59 PM
Love and :hug2:

mumof2
11-07-2009, 04:02 PM
Love and :hug2:

and from me too hunny :hug2:

Johnie
14-07-2009, 09:59 PM
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHH!!!

Well many things going on here:

1. I cannot take my name off the lease unless HE agrees to it
2. I can't move anywhere while my name is still on the lease
3. He won't leave
4. He is threatening to open the door and let the animals out
5. He's threatening to take all of my money.
6. He will not stop calling my cell phone

josh.p.
14-07-2009, 10:11 PM
First off... MASSIVE hugs coming your way :hug2:

Secondly, make a diary of all the accusations, lies and threats that he makes. Keep it updated but keep it secret too. Perhaps when a lawyer confronts him with the serious threats he is making then he will realise what a hole he has got himself into.

Do you have a Dictaphone you can record him with?

Johnie
14-07-2009, 10:17 PM
I do and I have. I even took the threat he made on my phone to the magistrate and he could have cared less. Wouldn't do anything about it.

SleepinCatz
14-07-2009, 10:36 PM
Does Alysia have an account of her own? Perhaps you can put your money there where he can't get to it?

when does the lease go up?

Johnie
14-07-2009, 10:42 PM
Lease is month to month at this point. I can give notice on the first and be out of it by Aug 1st.

I have my own accounts. There is no money in the joint account. The magistrate did say if he wrote checks on it and they bounced he would be the one in trouble, not me.

foreverducky
14-07-2009, 10:44 PM
Oh! I don't even know what to say, but stay strong! And definitely keep those logs. It will help sooner or later.

Makes you want to stay single forever and ever, right. :hug2:

SleepinCatz
14-07-2009, 10:45 PM
alrighty then....take a deep breath my sweet. right now he's getting on that last nerve and making things look hopeless....But it's not. Take your steps and I don't care if you have to find a pet friendly hotel to hold up in on August 1st- you do what you have to do. and make sure your attorney has a record of the calls and threats as well as reliable co workers. This is not time to be private...I know it's hard but trust me on this cover your backside! I want to see you over and over again at meets in florida :)

luvthemouse
14-07-2009, 10:50 PM
Terroristic threatening? Have you considered calling the police?

Johnie
14-07-2009, 10:57 PM
Oh Krista a couple of weeks ago, I called everyone and absolutely no one will help. The police, the magistrate, the courts, no one. They all said it was domestic and since he's not physically hurting me they won't intervene.

Oh and last night he was just willing to do anything to have me back. And then later today it was just his craziness shining through.

Oh billie, you have no idea! I am never getting into a relationship again. NEVER.

foreverducky
14-07-2009, 11:08 PM
Amen sister! I am so happy being single!

luvthemouse
14-07-2009, 11:10 PM
Could you get an apartment under Alysia's name? I'm sure she's not making too much...

Tinker
14-07-2009, 11:25 PM
have nothing to add except this :hug2:

Johnie
15-07-2009, 01:18 AM
Could you get an apartment under Alysia's name? I'm sure she's not making too much...

She suggested that too. However, she is not making enough now to get anything on her own.

Well I DID get him to sign an agreement that he will be moving out by Sunday, will take his name off the lease and will not harm or release the pets in anyway. Let's keep all of our fingers crossed.......

Tinker
15-07-2009, 01:55 AM
She suggested that too. However, she is not making enough now to get anything on her own.

Well I DID get him to sign an agreement that he will be moving out by Sunday, will take his name off the lease and will not harm or release the pets in anyway. Let's keep all of our fingers crossed....... and this can't hurt :pdust::pdust::pdust::pdust:

Shellyamc
15-07-2009, 03:48 AM
:tongue: thank you Shelly! I have him at home....I beleive you were the one who showed him to me the first time.

Yes, I was :yes: Every time I see him I think of you and I knew he would make you smile.

Lots of hugs and pixie dust for you. This will all be a memory very soon and until then we are all here for whatever you might need us for. :hug2:

Deb
15-07-2009, 06:47 AM
Oh Johnie :hug2:

Let's hope he sticks to this agreemement, eh?

It's at that stage where it seems like a brick wall....which means that things will get better. Just hang in there and don't let him press your buttons. Get mad of course, but do that because YOU choose to get mad at him, not because he's pressed those buttons and given you a knee jerk reaction. That way you stay in control :hug2:

mumof2
15-07-2009, 07:47 AM
oh sweetie, i just don't know what to say to you.....you've done and tried everything. hang on in there until it starts going your way, it will hun, it will. :hug2::hug2: we're all here - whenever. :hug2:

Disneybumble
15-07-2009, 01:38 PM
Oh Johnie.:hug2:
Can you have people come over Sunday to reinforce your agreement.
I have no advice but know l am thinking of you.
Johnie is he the one who's Mom has been married like 27 times. Crazy must run in the family.

PsychoAlice
15-07-2009, 01:50 PM
Hungry pigs I tell ya...hungry pigs..

Johnie
15-07-2009, 02:26 PM
Yes, his mom is the one who has been married 13 times.

I am actually going to be in Williamsburg from Sun to Wed for a work conference...hmmm I may just have to leave late on Sun.

Down here we have churches who put all sorts of messages on these boards. Some are witty and some are scary. I passed one yesterday that said, "God will take care of what you have to go through.....you take care of how you go through it". I thought that was a pretty fitting message for me.

BevW
15-07-2009, 02:30 PM
Ok, I am totally behind the times here...but been there done that and there IS a happy ending. No matter how it turns out, it will be better for you. You are a good person, thoughtful, kind, a bit goofy, but you are who you are and we love you for it!
We're here for you...I can totaly attest to that...cos these women here where there for me.

Isafari
15-07-2009, 03:39 PM
Well I DID get him to sign an agreement that he will be moving out by Sunday, will take his name off the lease and will not harm or release the pets in anyway. Let's keep all of our fingers crossed.......

I have more than fingers crossed for you Johnie! I so hope he does the decent thing on Sunday :hug2:

SleepinCatz
15-07-2009, 05:15 PM
Sarah has the right idea.

other than that get you a big guard dog and name him kitty.

Beccaberry
15-07-2009, 05:44 PM
:hug2: I think I've said it all in the last couple of days...but I just want to remind you...I mean every word of it.

You can and WILL get through this, I know this without a doubt. And until you reach the other side, know (without a doubt) that we are all here for you. :hug2:

Mari
15-07-2009, 06:33 PM
She suggested that too. However, she is not making enough now to get anything on her own.

Well I DID get him to sign an agreement that he will be moving out by Sunday, will take his name off the lease and will not harm or release the pets in anyway. Let's keep all of our fingers crossed.......


this is really good news!!! :yes: :hug2:

Rosie0610
15-07-2009, 07:30 PM
Fingers crossed for you Johnie!! :hug2:

Tinker
15-07-2009, 10:33 PM
:hug2: I think I've said it all in the last couple of days...but I just want to remind you...I mean every word of it.

You can and WILL get through this, I know this without a doubt. And until you reach the other side, know (without a doubt) that we are all here for you. :hug2: A~~ MEN To That !!! :yes:

Tinker
15-07-2009, 10:37 PM
I was thinking about you and this agreement last night . Could you have it notorized while he is still in a half way decent mood ? This way , you have him ! It's a binding contract !

ukwdwnut
16-07-2009, 11:30 AM
BIIIIIIIIIG :hug2: :hug2::hug2:for you johnie fingers crossed all goes to plan with the agreement

:hug2: to you too tracy, hope your stronger this time too :)

MystikPiglit
16-07-2009, 12:16 PM
Good luck, Johnie. Stay strong. :hug2:

Dorothy
16-07-2009, 03:15 PM
Love you honey and I'm here if you need me :hug2:

mainecoon lover
16-07-2009, 03:35 PM
I hope all works out well for you Johnie :hug2::hug2:. Life can be a real pain in the butt sometimes.

Tinker
24-07-2009, 01:16 PM
Been thinking of you darling, we need an update . How are things ? Did he stick to the contract ? Are you rid of The Beast .

Taja
24-07-2009, 02:39 PM
:hug2: and :pdust: for you, Johnie.

If you haven't already checked into it, ask the landlord if it's okay to have your door locks rekeyed as soon as he leaves. Just tell him/her you're considering the possibility. It would be worth the cost of the locksmith--even on Sunday!--for the peace of mind that he won't have access.

You may have to have an extra set of keys made for the landlord. Just don't give the new keys to the landlord until after your aboutl-to-be ex removes his name from the lease. Then the landlord would have no legal reason to give them to him--and if he did, you would have reason to break the lease.