I want to go back to the car.
So, we’re in the Magic Kingdom, let’s do stuff. We stroll down Main St carefully steering Lisa past all the retail opportunities with a promise of returning at some later point. We reach the top of Main St and turn left into Adventureland to be greeted by a sign at the entrance stating that Adventureland will not be opening until 10am. Well our plan of turning left and going clockwise was stopped in its tracks as it’s only 9.30am. Mind you if we’d taken the trouble to check the guide map and schedule we would have none this and saved valuable calories by not making that turn. But hey, we’re here now so we do a quick photo under the entrance to Adventureland, then proceed to walk through anyway en route to places unknown. Opposite Jungle Cruise we spot Rafiki all alone and Steven gets his first autograph and a photo. So the land is closed but there’s still a character hanging out there; curious.
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Oh well, we yell at people that there’s a lonely monkey over here and soon we managed to muster up a short line for him and head off through Frontierland. We’re saving the mountains for a bit later so it’s straight on to Liberty Square where we notice that there is no wait for the Haunted Mansion. I explain to Big Steve what the attraction entails and suggest that it may not be suitable for his children and I thought Harry was definitely not a suitable rider. He said, “nah, don’t worry, they’re going in.” OK, so we park up the buggies and everyone troops around to the waiting area. Steven is asleep at this point. There is much hilarity at the headstone of Good Old Fred because once again Nanny Lesley is married to Grandad Fred so it gave us all a good giggle to see this one. Again, you had to be there.
The scary man opens the doors and orders us in. Then the other doors open and we are ordered in again. Steven is still asleep, Ellie is a big wide-eyed, and Harry’s eyes are coming out of his skull. So you know the spiel that starts, “Welcome foolish mortals?” We get as far as, “We…” and Harry starts to say, “I don’t like it,” and burying his head in Big Steve’s shoulders. People around us started giggling, especially when Harry announced that he wanted to go back to the car. So off to the Doom Buggies we go: Big Steve, Lisa, and Harry in one, Nanny Lesley and Ellie in another, and Adrian, a still sleeping Steven, and myself in a third. All we could hear all the way round was Harry saying, “I don’t like it.” At the graveyard Steven woke up and started screaming. As we came out of the exit Ellie burst into tears. Great, the first ride and we’ve traumatised all 3 children in 1 go. Yes, we are all bad parents/squishies.
I have excuses! Remember, I did tell Big Steve about the ride and he was the one who decided that Ellie and Harry would ride. And I’d forgotten how loud the graveyard area was and didn’t think it would wake Steven. However, you’ll be glad to hear that we did exercise more caution on all future attraction visits.
We came up with a rating scale for the rides based on Harry’s opinions. The scale was:
1. Not gairy
2. Not too gairy
3. A bit gairy
4. Quite gairy
5. Totally gairy
Haunted Mansion went right off the scale and Harry rated it a, “Daddy’s evil for taking me on that gairy train.”
So after all that trauma we promise much nicer things to come and head off into Fantasyland. Of course we are now in doll territory so we need to watch our steps and keep a close eye on the shorter members of our group. As there is no wait (is there ever) for Small World, we decide to get it over and done with. Deciding that there is definitely safety in numbers, all 8 of us climb into a boat together and edge nervously along the water and into the tunnel wondering whether we should have been issued with protective clothing, or at the very least a fly swatter.
As luck would have it all the dolls seemed occupied with their singing and we all made it safely out of the other end of the tunnel. Steven fell asleep on this ride; he enjoyed it that much. Harry pronounced Small World “not gairy,” and we moved across the way to Peter Pan’s flight. The sign said a 20 minute wait but it was less than half that. Adrian opted to sit this one out with a sleeping Steven, so Big Steve, Lisa and Harry took one flying boat, and Nanny Lesley, Ellie and myself took another. Harry gave this one a 2: “Not too gairy.” I think it was the crocodile that stopped it from getting a 1.
