Whale or Mermaid?

[Ursula]

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin
woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:

THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨

Within a few days, a long, white paper appeared in the window beside the poster. It had the following typed on it, in a very large font:

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans).. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable
baby whales.

They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia.

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures
and have virtually no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crises. Fish or
human? They don't have a sex life because they drown the men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have
kids either. Also, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media put into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a cappuccino with my friends.

With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my rear in the mirror I am going to think, ¨My Goodness, look how smart I am...

[Tink]

with a man who makes me shiver

Awwww. Poor buggie. Shall I send her a blanket?