Over the last few weeks I have been very upset over the situation regarding my dd's friend. Ive always been very proud of her for holding on to this friendship. Kathryn is 18, just completed her 'A' levels and is off to Sheffield University to study chemistry in September. She's a bright girl, but very shy and has a close group of about six friends. However this particular girl has never been part of the group of six because she has severe learning difficulties.She joined the primary school after five years because she was at a special school. Her father abandoned both her and her Mum when she was a baby - he was a heroine addict and later died. Her Mum didnt tell her who her Dad was until he died. She was devastated at this and this is only one of a few of the mean things she has done to her dd.
Dd's friends have never been her friend and have always been slightly uncomfortable with her. They have never been in any way mean however as they are lovely girls. Kathryn conducts this friendship away from the rest of the group. Her friend left school 2 years ago having done the very best she could and went on to college. Things didnt go well for her and she left. She has been very ill over the years and has almost died on two occasions - she has severe asthma. Everything went really badly for her when her Mum got a new boyfriend and she became surplus to requirements. Often there was no food in the house for her and sometimes her Mum didnt want her in the house at all and she used to turn up on our doorstep. I dont know how she didnt go off the rails during the last two years but she hasnt.
Things came to a head when she was admitted to hospital and almost died about a year ago. Allergy tests were done and her mother was told she was so severely allergic to cats that one more asthma attack as severe as that one would kill her. The cats would have to go.
Well, would you believe it, the mother refused point blank to get rid of the cats even though she knew her dd might die. Dd's friend begged and begged her Mum and finally her Mum said that she would have to go - not the cats. :(
Dd's friend moved out - well actually her Mum threw all her possessions outside the house. Since then she has been living at a friends house and wherever she can. Her mother doesnt want to have anything to do with her and has stopped talking to any other members of the family who do.
Each Friday she meets up with her grandfather on a bench in town. She obviously loves her grandfather and he her, but he cant take her in.
I am so angry with the way this girl has been treated. She hasnt gone off the rails, she doesnt drink or take drugs and has not been a difficult daughter. She is obviously surplus to requirements as far as her mother is concerned and she just feels abandoned. She isnt work shy either.
Today she was offered a place at a YMCA hostel. She is so happy to have a room of her own. However she could have her mother, but she doesnt want her. My dd is still her friend and I am very proud that she has never let her down. The whole situation has upset me a lot but now I am just glad that she has some stability in her life. All she really wants is her Mum but she is on her own in a strange town and has no one. It is so sad. I just wonder how any mother could do this to their own flesh and blood. I hope all goes well for her but she has had a hard life so far and to be alone at the age of 18 must be so hard. I hope somehow she survives out there on her own. I just gave her a big hug as she left yesterday but at least tomorrow her new life begins.
I hope life treats her well.