Tomorrow, the 16th, will be the 2nd anniversary of the night my brain aneurysm ruptured. If it's anything like last year, it was a mixture between something to celebrate & something to fear. I feel it is almost a day I should celebrate because I didn't die, I lived & am so lucky to have survived it with flying colors. But it's also sad for me because it was such a scary time for me, David & my girls. It's hard not to think of how close I came to leaving my children motherless or how mentally disabled I could be right now.
Soon after I got home from the hospital & I had to see my dr. & my neurosurgeon both of them told me stories about patients of theirs who had aneurysms & 10 years later were still alive. But the emphasis they put on it.....10 years later! It made me feel like I'm going to be lucky if I get another 10 years out of my life. Since then, that is the time frame I keep in my head. So I am happy I've made it another year, but I do that morbid thing where I think..well, I have 8 years left if I'm lucky. So it's a happy & sad day for me I guess is what I'm saying.
I haven't had anything else happen, that I know of, other than some dizzy spells & my stamina has never really returned. I wish I could afford the yearly CT Scans as the surgeon said, it would just set my mind at ease to know for sure everything was ok up there. Sadly, without insurance, I cannot, so I can only hope for the best. Hope my tattered brain is staying healthy :)
Thanks guys for hearing me out, didn't mean to go on so much but I guess I'm just feeling overly reflective tonight.