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Thread: banging head against the wall

  1. #1
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    Well, it's been an interesting 6 months or so. Some of you may remember that we were thinking of moving last summer from our country home, then my brother was diagnosed with Charcots Syndrome, my mother put her house in my name and we just sort of let things go. I've been after my mother (84) to decide what she wants to do with the house for the past 3 years, it's upkeep is getting too much for her. We had offered to buy it for years now( buying out my brothers share in the house as well) to no avail. With my brothers illness however it's apparent that physically he will need help soon. ( he lives with Mom) After Christmas DH and I decided enough was enough and that we would give our house to the kids, they can make the needed repairs while we still pay the mortgage and sell and divide the profit ( an early inheiratance!!LOL) and found a small home that we both liked very much. Well doesn't Mom tell me that she wants to sell her house and move either to a senior apartment or an in-law set up at our house.In our area there are not alot of in-law set ups, and the newer sub divisions do not allow garage conversions.We have been looking non stop and found 2 houses that could meet our requirements( Mom and brother will eventually be living with me) but it's 10 minutes from where they want to live I feel like pulling my hair out at this point! Any suggestions? My sanity is in question now people! It's much harder to find a space that 4 adults can live in then ( plus Ty) than a 5 person family, and no they don't want a duplex either( especially DH) HELP

  2. #2
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    It's going to be very hard to make everyone happy! Maybe some compromising is the way to go.

  3. #3
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    Yeah ,or a shot gun!!!

  4. #4
    Administrator Tink's Avatar
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    Seriously look into assisted living. I can go on for hours, but it would be a very, very good compromise and honestly, your Mom and Brother may come to actually like the idea. There are wonderful places out there that meet the needs of families far more thoroughly than even a loving family can.

    Good luck to you. That's a really hard family matter to work though.






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  5. #5
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    My mother is fiercely independent still, she drives short distances and wouldn't even ponder the notion. A senior apartment maybe, my brother won't consider even the apartment. ( the term senior)!!!!

  6. #6
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    My mother is fiercely indepentent still, drives short distances and wouldn't even ponder the notion!! asenior apartment maybe. My brother at 58, not even the apartment(the term senior)

  7. #7
    Administrator Tink's Avatar
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    A senior apartment would be good. Although, you CAN drive and live your own life in an ALF. It's just that you have care available should you need it.

    Plus, you don't have to be "old" (whatever on earth that means) to live in an ALF. Most states allow people 18 and older to live in them (if there is a need, of course).

    At any rate, it does seem an independent living situation would be better.






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  8. #8
    Senior Member mumof2's Avatar
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    oh my giddy Aunt what a difficult position you're in. I'm afraid I have no suggestions other than what's already been said....




  9. #9
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    Sweet Mother of God, she doesn't want to look at the in law set up because it's 15 minutes away from where she wants.... grant me patience!!! Grant me foresight, grant me something!!!!!!!

  10. #10
    Senior Member mumof2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tinkfan, post: 186811
    Sweet Mother of God, she doesn't want to look at the in law set up because it's 15 minutes away from where she wants.... grant me patience!!! Grant me foresight, grant me something!!!!!!!


    lots of vodka....?!




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