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Thread: Being Assertive

  1. #1
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    Do you think you are assertive?

  2. #2
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    i think sometimes it comes with age and experience and goes hand in hand with confidence. My job has helped me big time with this as i have to talk to very awkward people who are at times verbally abusive. I can now, although its hard to do, say no - without telling the person why. There are courses you can do to help you- maybe even something online to help















  3. #3
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    .

  4. #4
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    Yep, that's me! having been in mangerment , I would say , I might even be called pushie.

  5. #5
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    I can be very assertive with DH and the kids but not anyone else :rolleyes008:






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  6. #6
    Administrator Tink's Avatar
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    I agree with Britchick. Age and experience does help sometimes.

    If people are asking you to do more than you can, and by taking on those extra tasks your performance at your required tasks runs the risk of being negatively impacted, you must learn to say, "I really can't. I'm swamped with my own duties." You can try a positive approach, "I really appreciate your confidence in me! Right now I have to focus on my tasks/duties/responsibilites."

    One of the things you shouldn't say is, "I'm sorry." That sends a mixed message and gives the other person room to continue pushing you to do their work/whatever.

    I think everyone, especially young professionals should take an assertiveness course as well as a negotiating course. You'll be happy you did and should walk away with some really useful skills.

    Start small and practice saying no to little requests. Those are often the ones that weigh you down as they seem so little that it won't matter. But it does!






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  7. #7
    Administrator Wendy's Avatar
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    Hayley, there can't be anyone more unassertive than me :o :sigh;

    As Chris says even a 5 year old can talk me into anything, I just don't know how to say no









    If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together.......
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  8. #8
    Administrator Tink's Avatar
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    Do too. You wouldn't drink that iced tea at the UK pavilion!






    Welcome to our new home! It's a lovely and friendly place. If you haven't joined yet, do register. It's a great place to make friends and share all those Disney secrets!!

    "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” ~Aristotle

  9. #9
    Administrator Wendy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tink, post: 12028
    Do too. You wouldn't drink that iced tea at the UK pavilion!

    Ok touché









    If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together.......
    there is something you must always remember.
    You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
    But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...... I'll always be with you.
    Winne the Pooh - A A Milne



    A friend is a hand that is always holding yours,
    no matter how close or far apart you may be.
    A friend is someone who is always there and will always, always care.
    A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart.

  10. #10
    Senior Member MystikPiglit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hayleyneeyore, post: 11924

    I just can't say "no" to people - I hate letting people down so I just get on with it and end up with a ton more work to do and not being any more appreciated for it :mad:
    That used to be me.... I made the excuse to myself that I was doing it because I liked helping people, which in principle I still do.

    Then one day I overheard 2 friends after a committee meeting (oh yes, I was roped onto many committees) saying, "Ask Diane, she'll do it".

    I mulled that over and realised that she was right, I would do anything to be of help.

    Over time I've almost managed, by remembering that sentence, to just be helpful when really needed and to accept invitations for things I want to do.
    I say 'almost' as I still sometimes automatically agree to do something I don't have time for.:rolleyes008:

    Good luck.
    [CENTER]







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