Originally Posted by uscwest, post: 201667
it was so completely crazy but you wouldn't believe how big a mess it got (ably assisted by my crazy sarcastic Brit humour of course)
All it was, when we got to the immigration desks, they opened up about 4 desks all at one time. So I, with all the cases, walked slowly to one on the left whilst dearest wife ran to one to the right.
So I turn around with all the bags and trot over to the other desk, annoying the guy behind the desk I was going to. I get to the desk wifey has chosen and the guy literally jumps from behind his desk and shouts STAY THERE!
I said erm we're together, "STAY THERE, KEEP QUIET" well ok I guess I'll just STAY HERE then. Dropped cases and smiled politely.
he says "ma'am are you here of your own free will".... given this is not a usual question, wifey says "erm" and looks at me .... "DONT LOOK AT HIM, ANSWER ME" in loud nasty unhelpful voice at which point she gets upset and says something like "I dont understand"... he says "you can answer, he can't do anything to you" at which point I think I muttered something like oh my GOD.
So other guy from the desk I was going to comes over. "why did you go to different desks" to which I said something like "oh wonderful my turn to talk thank you SO much, was wondering when you'd get round to it. Simple mistake, I went to that one, my wife, not having any cases to cart, got to that one a little more quickly"
So guy from wifey's line comes over stands about 1inch from my face and says I dont like your attitude and I think theres something going on here.
I, given pretty fed up of mr. immigration, said something along the lines of, ah yes the good old JFK welcome wagon, well done you. how about you calm it down a bit and I explain to you what happened.(I'm thinking but dont say it, I'll explain in very simple terms).
so he starts yelling and almost screaming in a I'd really like to just beat you to death but it's a bit public kinda way and another two immigration people come over to watch.
So now, four immigration officials all standing round whilst one of them has a REAL screaming fit. Two police officers come over and one says "is there a problem here?". Now you see, I should have said "thank you officer yes I hope you can help here, who would you like to hear from first?" but the whole idea of someone asking that given the huge shouting match in front of them just really appeals to my sense of humour and so I just starting laughing too much to actually talk.
Anyway it goes on for another 45 mins or so but suffice to say, the security back then mixed with a bad tempered prat of an immigration guy, mixed with my seeming inability to keep from being sarcastic just didn't make for a pleasant immigration experience (although admittedly slightly less traumatising that at an airport in Texas where the reply to one of my questions was "well we could just shoot you?")
The airport apologised, the immigration guy kicked something on the way past me back to work whilst giving me a "hope I see you on the street punk" kinda look and I've TRIED *TRIED* to not be such a wise ass.
It's got a lot better now though, certainly at Orlando. They've REALLY made such an effort to be friendly in recent years I must admit I can't fault them now at all. I even risk a joke or two.