Awe hun I know how you feel. I remember in August when we had Molly and Foxy put to sleep and then Rafi went down hill dh and I could not take her for two days. We then knew if we loved her then we had to pick ourselves up and do what was best for her. It hurt bad but we knew it was right. With Tinkerbell dh delt with her as I could not look at another of my cats eyes whilst we had to let her go. Dh came home saying that when he saw how much she had deteriorated it made it easier, she had been in the vets for two days with them trying to save her.