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  1. #11
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    Children also hear things in the media that we think we are shielding them from. It is possible to have heard something negative that way as well.

    Also it is very sad to report that kids call each other "gay" and "retard" all the time. I correct all the children in my life because that just upsets me to no end.

    Mom should have told those busy body moms that all throughout history, men have long dressed up as women in plays. Women were not even allowed to be in the plays!












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  2. #12
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    I donít dismiss the fact that he was worried and I have come into contact to with many year one pupils who have worried about such things but itís due to their parent and cares not other children. They generally arenít aware and certainly donít care about their peers opinions until about the age of 7 before that itís the household that has most sway with their general awareness of the world around them.

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    I just donít think the Mum is as liberal or OK with it as she thinks she is.

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    First off all she starts the piece with the title ďMy son is gayĒ Heís 5 how on earth can she even surmise that when he is only starting to become gender aware at this age and probably has no idea if heís gay as much as if he is straight. She could have said my son is creative, has an amazing imagination, and likes to have fun. She started with the labels not the other Mums in question.

    To me this feels as itís something sheís seriously given consideration to. Her 5 year old might be gay.

    I would say if she really was as excepting of this as she says she is, I canít imagine it would be an issue she would feel the need to defend on Face Book of all places.

    The other thing that bothered me was that she made a point that his best friend is a girl, he has a sister and he spends alot of time with her, I took this as her saying his choice of costume might have been down to the fact that he is surrounded with girls and he may not be gay after all. More labels.

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    I am of the opinion that you are born gay, itís who you are not the environment you are brought up in, and itís certainly not something that can be learned or encouraged by being around the opposite sex more.

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    I personally think he is a wee boy who likes Scooby Doo and thought I want to be Daphne. I donít think Daphneís gender probably came into his decision. It was probably more that he liked her boots, hair colour, or what she did in the last cartoon he saw.

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    ďWHO WOULD MAKE FUN OF A CHILD IN A COSTUME ON HALLOWEEN?Ē

    Lots of people sadly, the world has many mean people in it. You either teach your kids to care more about their own feelings and individual character or you ask them to dress the same as everyone else to protect them from being hurt. The fact is there are mean people in the world; its how you choose to deal with them that counts. By being enraged by these other Mumís and projecting her fears of rejection to him she is in fact making him worry more about his choices.
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    ďBoo doesnít want to get out of the car. Heís afraid of what people will say and do to him.Ē
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    How on earth does he know to feel like this, he was obviously excited about his new costume? Unless another wee boy in his class had dressed like a girl and received a negative reaction how would he not believe his friends would think it as funny and cool as he thinks it is. Or has he been told, people might make fun of you if you dress as a girl.
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    At no point does she say the other kids were mean to him so obviously his fear didnít come from the class room but from her fears for him.
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    ďIf you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to Ďmakeí him gay then you are an idiotĒ
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    None of the other Mumís has called him gay, only his own Mum has.
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    I honestly think she is finding it harder than any of the other Mumís to deal with, I donít think for a minute that she is OK with it. The whole piece of writing is littered with insecure attempts to defend, explain and let everyone and his dog know sheís OK with him being gay.
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    If he is or isnít gay should never have been the issue, itís that when we make choices to be our self there will be mean people in the world who want to challenge us on it, but we wonít allow them to bring us down. She has just allowed them to bring both her and more importantly him down through her own fear.
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    Just my opinion.
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  3. #13
    Senior Member mumof2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by *Bambi-Belle*, post: 237564
    Just my opinion.
    and a good one it is! See when I first read it my automatic reaction was to say 'poor little lad, how dare they say that about him' but you made me look at it again in a different way




  4. #14
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    Maybe I totally misread the whole blog. As an aside I don't believe it was the mum that put it on Facebook. I think her blog readers may have posted it there.





  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by mumof2, post: 237575
    and a good one it is! See when I first read it my automatic reaction was to say 'poor little lad, how dare they say that about him' but you made me look at it again in a different way
    Quote Originally Posted by Claire, post: 237576
    Maybe I totally misread the whole blog. As an aside I don't believe it was the mum that put it on Facebook. I think her blog readers may have posted it there.

    I didnít mean to make anyone think anything other than what the Mum intended her blog to say. I completely commend her in wanting to be supportive of her wee boy, who is adorable by the way.
    I also agree itís easy for me to sit behind my PC and pass an opinion on someone I donít know or have ever met or have any inclination of her personality. My opinion was based only on what she wrote.
    I just think she should have worked through her own feelings, anger and fears first before posting on the World Wide Web.
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    I didnít realise it wasnít a facebook thing, a few of my FB friends had it posted on their walls, thatís where I saw it first but I suppose thatís the nature of blogs and the internet now, in that things can be available worldwide before you have a chance to think about what you wrote.
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    Itís true what Julie said as in that at least it will allow discussion and debate for the benefit of other parents who may find themselves with the same situation and unsure how to act.

  6. #16
    Administrator Tink's Avatar
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    Claire, thank you for sharing this. I wouldn't have seen it otherwise.

    I know that children come up with fears quite easily, without the parents or other influential adults being aware of it at all.

    Our Seth had big, gaudy rings he wanted to wear to a wedding this summer. We said, "Sure!" When he got there he literally yanked them off his fingers and stuffed them in my hand saying, "They'll laugh at me." Why would he say that?

    Also, why would Seth think that saying "gay" was a bad word. He asked us about it and we were truly horrified. Why did he think that? Where did he get that impression. He's SIX?!!!

    Children draw conclusions from incidents that parents and other loving family members might not know a thing about.

    I believe this little boy knew that kids would laugh at him because he had seen it happen. "That's a girl's color," is all it could take for him to recognize that gender expression is controlled by social pressure (yes, even at five).

    The Mom? I'd be as outraged too, only quite honestly, I wouldn't have been as kind as she seems to have been to those ignorant fools. I pity their children.






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