The Police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife. They said..."is this your wife sir ?".......Shocked i answered "Yes.." They said "I'm afraid it looks like she has been hit by a bus..." I said " I know...but she's got such a lovely personality.."

The wife's been missing for over a week now. This morning the Police called round to say i should prepare for the worst. So i have had to go down the charity shop and get all her clothes back...