It's taken me until now to have the strength, or perhaps courage to post this here.
Mama has died. She left us suddenly on May 30.
I've been home. We've done all the things you do when something like this happens. I stood next to my Da. I'm the oldest, you see. Her children draped the pall. Her grandchildren were her pall bearers. Her great grandchildren presented the Blessed Mother with orchids. Mama, devoted to the Blessed Mother, carried orchids when she married Da. Her priest spoke of what she meant to him; shared his sadness and loss and spoke of something that made no sense to me. I can't find any rejoicing in any of this. People I haven't seen in 40 or more years came to say goodbye. Car after car after car in the cortege. None of it makes any sense. None of it. None.
My Da is still in shock; lost. As am I.