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Thread: cat diary

  1. #1
    Day 979 of my captivity...

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry
    Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. pooper troopers.

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but
    at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies
    and snitches. The dog receives special privileges He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously brain damaged!

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
    protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

    For now ...

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Cumming, GA. A small suburb of Atlanta.

    Tom (... evil beast...)

  3. #3
    That is fantastic!

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    United States

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    NE Scotland
    love it.

  6. #6
    Hold on... we're going to torment the kitty a little more and move to "Just for Laughs!"

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    My Laughin' Place
    This is outstanding stuff. You should write a book with all his daily entries.

    WDW = 39 visits since 1979
    DCL = 3 cruises since 2002

    Upcoming Vacations:
    [COLOR=rgb(255, 0, 0)]Dec 2014 [/COLOR]=
    WDW - Animal Kingdom Lodge - Grand Villa Savanna View
    [COLOR=rgb(255, 0, 0)]Feb 2015[COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 0)] = DCL - 5 Night Western Caribbean on the Wonder - 20th Wedding Anniversary Celebration[/COLOR][/COLOR]
    [COLOR=rgb(255, 0, 0)][COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 0)][COLOR=rgb(255, 0, 0)]April 2015[/COLOR] = WDW - Boardwalk Villas[/COLOR][/COLOR]

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Northern Illinois
    This is so funny

    I've copied it to send to my daughters cat so that she can see that she's not the only one out there held in captivity by evil humans

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