Old, but still good :)


Subject: nutrition facts
>
>When I was in Montana this summer I went to a doctor in Butte because I
>wasn't feeling so well. I was impressed with his medical approach and
>knowledge. I feel like I should share his wisdom with you.
>
>I Love this Doctor
>
>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
>
>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste
>them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart
>will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life
>of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
>
>Q:Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
>
>A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
>corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
>efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
>Eat
>
>chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
>(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
>recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
>
>Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
>
>A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
>means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
>goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
>
>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
>
>A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If
>you have t wo bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
>
>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
>program?
>
>A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
>
>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
>
>A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable
>oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be
>bad for you?
>
>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
>
>middle?
>
>A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should
>only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>
>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
>
>A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!
>
>Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
>
>A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
>
>Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
>
>A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
>
>Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
>food and diets. And remember:
>
>"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
>safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
>sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body
>thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"
>
>AND.....
>
>For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition
>and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting
>nutritional studies.
>
>1. The Japanese eat very little fat
>
>and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
>
>2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
>
>and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
>
>3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
>
>and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
>
>4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
>
>and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
>
>5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and
>suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
>
>CONCLUSION
>
>Eat and drink what you like.
>
>Speaking English is apparently what kills you