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Thread: So help me understand this whole relationship/marriage thing...

  1. #11
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    Well... I think it's ok for me to comment, yes?

    Right up front, I'm in the boat with Helly. No infidelity allowed. It's just not an aspect of our relationship. I know that's ok with some folks, and that's totally fine, but we're dedicated to each other and there is no room for anyone else in our relationship.

    As for the other, the looking and the physiological and emotional response to the looking... Looking is as normal as breathing air, eh? We look at folks and we recognize that they do or do not appeal to our sense of personal "taste" in terms of attractiveness. It gets murky for me if the response to the looking moves beyond a fairly dispassionate, "Oh my!" What is missing in the relationship that the looking has moved beyond the "gazing at art" type of thing?

    I can honestly say that whomever I consider attractive does register on my conscious, of course! But, it's more of a disinterested sort of "Oh my!" than it is a "whooohoooo baby bring it over here" sort of thing.

    Does that make a bit of sense?

    I guess, for me looking is totally normal. The response to the looking is the definitive thing.

    I think for those couples who have problems with even the looking, "What are you doing looking at her/him!?" that is an indication of something more deeply wrong in the relationship.

    Now, having said all that I will totally admit to being hopelessly old-fashioned in my thoughts on this sort of thing. :spring:






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  2. #12
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    so is having to sit down for fear of fainting when seeing a movie star walk out the sea an 'oh my' situation?














  3. #13
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    Brit

    I willl let you know the extent of my reaction when i see Jude law play Hamlet on stage in July - I have already told my friend there will be no 'waiting at the stage door' afterwards - I don't want to be disappointed






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  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by lisaw, post: 90169
    Brit

    I willl let you know the extent of my reaction when i see Jude law play Hamlet on stage in July - I have already told my friend there will be no 'waiting at the stage door' afterwards - I don't want to be disappointed


    how could you not? i waited to see the Wicked cast, i have a feeling you will like Fiero- when are you going btw?














  5. #15
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    Walk out the sea? Not too sure I'm following.

    Geez. I don't know Brit! I've never felt like fainting at the sight of a movie star. OH NO!!!! Is this final confirmation that I am truly, totally weird???!!!






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  6. #16
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    Nothing wrong with a glance or a smile but I would be peeved if Gavin was outright drooling over someone, especially if it was a regular occurance. I guess all in moderation eh!

  7. #17
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    "You can window shop but you can't buy" is my thought on this situation.
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  8. #18
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    I think it is ok to look and think wow they are fit but beyond that no way. I would hope if i wanted to take it further then i would realise i had marrige problems and deal with them before i did anything. I always live with the motto don't do to others what you would not want done to you.

  9. #19
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    If I'm out with someone and he is spending all his time checking out the "talent", well, that's just plain rude, IMHO. Just as I also think it is rude if I'm with someone and they spend all their time on their cell. If you are with me at least have the decency to pay some attention to me rather than acting like I'm not around.
    Donna
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  10. #20
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    Absolutly Donna..I agree....you would be surprised what single people do that is so similar to what married people do. I am at a point in my life where I am not settling. I have been out on many dates where I have walked out half way thru dinner because I will not put up with the crapolla they are dishing...case in point one guy asked me if I wanted to "fornicate" in the middle of dinner...he promptly got his drink and his dinner in his lap and I walked out (ouch hope that hot pasta didnt do any REAL harm)...anyway then there are others who seems to think that its ok to pay attention to everyone else but me on a date (why would you take a girl to where you and your buddies hang out on a first date?

    Is this what we have come to? Is this what I have to again settle on? Again?

    If any of you thought that dating in your 20s was hard you have no idea how difficule it is in your 30s!

    And what the enemy will see? They will see the flash of our cannons, and they will hear the ringing of our swords, and they will know what we can do! By the sweat of our brow and the strength of our backs and the courage in our hearts! Gentlemen, hoist the colors!



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