My op is fast appraoching and i have so much to do so i probably won't be around for a bit.
Today i MUST tidy and clean the house and of course tackle the pile of ironing
I'm back in work tomorrow and Tuesday then i have Wednesday off to get my bag packed and my nerves settled.
It also happens to be Robyn's 15th birthday on Wednesday so i will be doing a party tea for her too.
I have to be at the hospital for 7am on Thursday and my op is scheduled for around 11am.
I doubt i will get much sleep Wednesday night as i'm already struggling now.
I can't help worrying about the kids while i'm in hospital even though i know they will be well looked after and i'm stressing about things that i take for granted when i come out.
I'm so independant i can't imagine not being able to make my own bed in the morning or hang my own washing on the line and i'm really working myself up about it.I have never relied on someone else and at 39 i'm going to find it hard to start.I know the kids will do their bit and Mum and Dad will run the show but i like things done my way.
My biggest thing though is walking down to have the anaesthetic.
I know i will go to pieces and they will probably have to sedate me to sedate me!I'm feeling sick now just writing about it and my heart is pounding.
I also worry about how the kids will cope as they will worry too and i won't be able to run around after them like i do now.They will have so much pressure on them and still have to go to school every day and cope with that.
I know i'm probably worrying about nothing but the closer it's getting the worse i am feeling.
I will be spending 4/5 days in hospital but will catch up with you all when i'm sat with my feet up on the sofa some time after next weekend.
Then i can plan our holiday and update you on my pre trippie :)