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Thread: oh dear, more sad news

  1. #21
    Senior Member mumof2's Avatar
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    yes, it would be much better in this case for the boys to remember her as she was.

    HOWEVER, i just called the hospital....this is so weird. The rather haughty ward clerk said she's sitting up in a chair and is much brighter. I asked her to double check given what we were told yesterday. She said she's definitely sitting up and she could see her from her desk. MIL and FIL are on theuir way in now and will call me later.

    We are all a bit confused now but I guess the medication *may* have kicked in at last

    fingers crossed all will be well




  2. #22
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    They can't have got the wrong person surely Mairead. Well hopefully the drugs have kicked in. Still thinking of you all lovely.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #23
    Senior Member mumof2's Avatar
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    MIL has just called. Nanny Win is sitting up alright, but the clerk neglected to say she's black and blue, shouting out, seeing her sister across the ward who is, of course, not there.

    They said she's talking but they can't make sense of what she's saying, but then they probably can't hear her properly anyway - bless 'em!

    They'll be hoping to see the doctor later this afternoon, DH was planning to go in and see her this afternonn but I'm not sure he will be able to cope with it if she is like that....i think he'll find it quite distressing. I'll speak to him later and see.




  4. #24
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    Mairead.

    Alzheimer's is such a roller coaster disease. It's impossible to know from one moment to the next how it is affecting the person. :( My father had it and we dealt with it for 14 years. While I don't wish that on anyone, we had some very good times mixed in with the--ahhhh..shall we say--less than wonderful times. There were times when he didn't know any of us and lived entirely in the past, and times when he was so sharp it was frightening!

    You've done the best for your kidlets at this time, I think. They need to be aware, but not necessarily involved, if that makes sense. You and your DH need to make decisions for yourselves as needed. As BC said, there are no right or wrong answers. Just what is right for each individual.

  5. #25
    Senior Member mumof2's Avatar
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    Thank you Taja.

    I felt the boys shouldn't see her like this but of course I worried I was denying them a visit with her. In the long run though they are better off with the memories they have.

    I've made the schools aware of the situation, and DS14 knows more of the what's happening than DS9 who has been asking when she will wake up. I will tell him today she is awake but still feeling very very poorly. I don't need elaborate on that I think.

    DH and I will call in later to see her and the boys are going to my sister while we are there. Luckily the hospital is less than 10 minutes away from us.




  6. #26
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    Mairead, kids are pretty resilient, my opinion is that they do need to know about life and death at an age appropriate level which of course is up to you to decide. Anyway, will be thinking of you all















  7. #27
    Senior Member mumof2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by britchick, post: 95041
    Mairead, kids are pretty resilient, my opinion is that they do need to know about life and death at an age appropriate level which of course is up to you to decide. Anyway, will be thinking of you all

    thank you.

    you're absolutely right, of course they absolutely do need to know. As I said they had to go through that process a few years back - it was very very hard but they did it in their own ways and came through it, as did the rest of us. It was an incredibly tough time, truly it was.

    I have been talking with DS14 about it as openly as possible and with DS9 I have answered his questions in, as you say, an age appropriate way.

    When my Uncle was ill we visited him in hospital on the Friday, then he died on Sunday morning - he looked poorly of course but he was his usual jolly self and that's what they remember.

    When my Aunty died she was at home prior to going to A&E and we saw her in her own home many times - she looked poorly but was also laughing and joking, again that's what they remember.

    And that's why I think it's best for them to remember Nanny Win as she was when they last saw her, happy and joking with them. They know what could happen, we've told them, so they are aware of it.

    Anyway, she may get better yet - there's always hope.




  8. #28
    Senior Member mumof2's Avatar
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    Well I never! DH and I went in last night and there she was sitting in her chair dozing.

    DH gently stroked her hand and she woke up, picked up her blanket which had slipped onto the floor then got up out of the chair and wondered where her sister was and where everybody had gone! We said we thought they must have all gone home.

    Well she sat there chatting, asking us if the tea lady had been round as she may give us a cuppa, then said "i'll go and put the kettle on"

    She told us how it was ok in there, food was alright and you could play cards as long as you weren't too noisy, although I don't think she actually *has* played cards!

    Sometimes she spoke within the context of the conversation and sometimes she didn't.

    It's remarkable, she was huffy and puffy but she had no drips or oxygen - I can't believe that on Tuesday we didn't think she'd make it through the night. She is one tough old lady - she's 90 in May

    DH is so gentle with her, he has such a laugh with her. He talks right into her ear as she's so deaf and has lost her hearing aid - it's a lovely sight to see him caring for his frail Nan in that way. Dare I say I think he has more compassion for her than anyone else although they do of course love her dearly, it's just the way he is with her that makes it different.

    Haven't heard anything yet today but fingers crossed. We do reaslise though that we could be back in this position at any time.




  9. #29
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    Wow Mairead that is good news. i am thrilled that she has come round from where you were on Tuesday. Your DH sounds very caring and it is lovely to read the nice words you say about him.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #30
    Administrator Tink's Avatar
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    That is classic Alz. disease. One day, one hour, one minute there is an increased level of lucidity...that is part of the reason it is such a heartbreaking disease. The person early on, and no one is sure for how long, is aware of what is happening and that adds poignancy and stress to the whole matter.

    Your DH is a wonderful grandson. You are doing the right thing for your family, Mairead. Please know that we are thinking of you as you all walk this journey with Nan. It's a walk that will change your lives forever.

    We're walking with you in spirit.






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