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Thread: Am I being unreasonable?

  1. #1
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    I told Liz that I would get her a new laptop for her birthday next week. Today we went out and bought one but now we have had a big row and she has told me to take it back as she no longer wants it because I won't give it to her today and want to keep it for her birthday next week.
    If I give it now there will be nothing for her to open on her birthday but she says that is OK.
    If it was you would you want your prezzie early and not have anything on your birthday.

    It would really upset me if there was nothing to give her.


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  2. #2
    Senior Member mumof2's Avatar
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    awww Liz

    I'd want to have it early too but I think it would be better to wait so it's all brand new on my birthday, so I agree with you!




  3. #3
    Administrator Tink's Avatar
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    Ummmm...sorry that you are both having a bad day.

    Honestly, I can't (won't?) answer this one, but I will ask a question of my own.

    What is the purpose of the gift? To give Liz something on a particular day, or to show that you love her enough to give her a gift?






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  4. #4
    Moderator Dawn's Avatar
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    Did you tell Liz you were buying it as a birthday gift?

    If it was me and I was told it was a birthday gift I would wait until the day before opening the box. But if I was given it early I wouldn't expect another present on the actual day.


    for you both as well.

  5. #5
    Senior Member mumof2's Avatar
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    On thinking about it though if you give it to Liz now, she'd know it was her birthday present and not expect anything on the day - perhaps if you give it to her early then a lovely bunch of flowers would be nice for the actual day?




  6. #6
    Administrator keith's Avatar
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    I'm the worst for this.

    As a kid, everyone wanted their presents NOW, then some way on the way to becoming an adult I guess people stopped doing that and I never did

    So Ive been through this one :D

    My take on it is that it is, of course, the giver's decision whether or not to gift early. Simple as that.

    BUT my mitigating argument as recipient is this. If I'm an adult (there's still much debate on that one), and I promise that I understand that won't be anything else on the actual day, then you should consider honouring my wishes and giving it early because that's how I feel it'll maximise my happiness which is what the gift was about in the first place
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  7. #7
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    Hmm it's a difficult one

    I think the fact that Liz knows what she is getting makes a difference - and it is only a week away.

    If I knew what i was getting and if it was something I would get some benefit out of having 'now' then I would probably want to have it early and the fact that it is only a week away I would be happy knowing there wasn't anything else.

    If it was something bought as a surprise i certainly would like to receive it on my actual birthday.

    I guess I can see it both sides - hope you can come to an agreement. :)






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  8. #8
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    Last night when I metioned the laptop I said that if we got one today that it was to be given on her birthday which she said was ok as she had already opened an early present.
    It would make me feel really mean if there was nothing to open on the actual date but the consensus seems to be to give it now.


    Everyone needs a hug in the morning
    and one at the end of the day.
    As many as possible squeezed in between
    to keep lifes troubles at bay.



    What’s another word for Thesaurus?

  9. #9
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    No, you're not being unreasonable...as the Giver you want to be able to make her actual birthday extra special, and getting excited about presents for your birthday is part of the fun! I'm of the school that would want to wait for my present.

    However...when you've both chosen it together and know what it is and it won't be a surprise on the day...well, maybe today and actually choosing it IS the excitement for her, and playing with it today would enhance that excitement...and opening it on her birthday would not be as much fun.

    I can totally understand your feelings and you'll be disappointed on the day to not have anything to give her, but maybe as it's her birthday and that's how she wants it, then maybe you celebrate her birthday by fulfilling her wishes and giving her what she wants?

    No right or wrong answer here, apart from doing what feels the most loving I suppose

    And as Mumof2 said earlier, maybe a special bouquet on the day, and a very lovely card will bring her just as much pleasure. And the meal you'll cook her, the champagne you'll pour ;)






  10. #10
    Senior Member mumof2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shogun, post: 96923
    Last night when I metioned the laptop I said that if we got one today that it was to be given on her birthday which she said was ok as she had already opened an early present.
    It would make me feel really mean if there was nothing to open on the actual date but the consensus seems to be to give it now.
    oooooh! difficult then, I'm not sure now




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