We'll take a snowman please
So there are eight of us. There’s no way we can troll round the cramped aisles of duty free together. We arrange to meet at the stand giving away free samples of Baileys at 9 in the morning in 40 minutes time and into the shop we go. Now Adrian and myself only ever buy one thing in duty free. Neither of us smoke and neither of us can be bothered to schlep around large bottles of alcohol and neither of us feel the need to buy several varieties of after shave or cologne or a Hermes scarf. So, we head straight for the sweetie section and pick up a pack of 6 Toblerones. That’s it. That’s all we ever buy in duty free: 6 Toblerones. I start to head for the check-out with Steven, but then I notice I am devoid of a husband. I turn to find he’s wandered over to the electronics section and is checking out the digital cameras. I go over and gently remind him that we already have one equipped with 4 memory cards of varying sizes. He says, “I know, I was just looking,” and off we head to the check-out.
As we approach the registers a lady approaches brandishing a snowman in one hand and I think it was a Santa in the other hand. “Would you like one of these?” she says to us. “Half price today, only £5.” Adrian replies, “we’ll take a snowman please.” I turn in astonishment. Um, it’s not a compulsory purchase, you are supposed to say, “not today thank you,” and smile politely whilst forcing your way past her false smile and onward to pay for the Toblerones. So now we have a carry-on bag each, a baby in a buggy, 2 bottles of Evian, 6 Toblerones, AND a not-so-small snowman to carry on to the plane, and I know who will end up carrying it too.
Anyway we duly purchase said items and head out, along with Nanny Lesley who followed us after purchasing some kind of scented product. Actually when I say ‘we duly purchase’ I really mean ‘Adrian duly purchased’ as I am allowed very little spending money of my own when going to Disney. It’s to protect our mortgage and other investments apparently.
We still have a little time to kill before meeting Big Steve and family at the aforementioned Baileys stand so we make a bathroom stop and wander around the other shops in the area. As we pass Dixon’s Adrian peers through the door. For you American readers, Dixon’s is a chain of electrical retailers in the UK. So Adrian’s peering in the door. He doesn’t browse, he peers. You know, when you or I shop we walk up and down the aisles and browse. Adrian stands at the top of an aisle and peers. Really bugs me out sometimes. Anyway he’s peering. I ask if he wants to go and browse inside the threshold of the door. He wanders in while Nanny Lesley and myself wait outside with Steven. After a few minutes I look round as he’s at the counter. OK I think, he’s buying batteries because hey we only packed nine thousand of the things, we’re bound to need a few more. Then I see him hand over a card of some description. Oh, must be a lot of batteries to warrant a card purchase. A couple of minutes later he marches out proudly carrying a Nikon Coolpix 4300. OK we have a digital camera, as I have already pointed out to him. “Yes but I wanted one of my own.” “We have one of OUR own. We share you see. Remember those wedding vows? What’s mine is yours…” He looks at me blankly and says, “that wasn’t in our vows.” Details, details. What I really think is he wanted one because his father has one and he doesn’t want to be upstaged by a technical incompetent.
So, now the proud owners of two digital cameras, we head to the Baileys stand and totally fail to sample the product because everyone is so excited that Adrian has bought a new camera. Whilst everyone is oohing and aahing over the camera I noticed that the overhead monitors are instructing us to proceed to the Satellite for boarding. I start to collect up bags and push Steven’s buggy. Adrian asks me to carry the snowman. You see, this new camera comes in a huge box and there’s no way he can carry anything else. So, as predicted, I end up with the wretched snowman, so everyone heads towards the shuttle train thingy while I trudge along behind looking like Sherpa Tensing.
When I said the photos start in the next part, I really mean the next part. Honest injun.