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Thread: Funny Bit on Retierment

  1. #1
    Senior Member Watchinherskip's Avatar
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    Wife sent this to me - is she worried about me and retirement?

    After
    > > I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her
    > > trips to
    > > Wal-Mart
    > >
    > > Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
    > > and preferred to get in and get out. Equally
    > > unfortunately, my wife is like most women -
    > > - she loved to browse.
    > >
    > > Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter
    > > from the local Wal-Mart manager
    > >
    > > Dear Mrs. Samuel,
    > >
    > > Over the past six months, your husband has been causing
    > > quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this
    > > behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the
    > > store. Our complaints against Mr. Samuel are listed below
    > > and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
    > >
    > > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
    > > them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
    > >
    > > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go
    > > off at 5-minute intervals.
    > >
    > > 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
    > > leading to the women's restroom..
    > >
    > > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
    > > official voice, 'Code 5 in Housewares. Get on it right
    > > away.'
    > >
    > > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a
    > > bag of M&M's on layaway.
    > >
    > > 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign
    > > to a carpeted area.
    > >
    > > 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
    > > and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they
    > > would bring pillows and blankets
    > > from the bedding department.
    > >
    > > 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him
    > > he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you
    > > people just leave me alone?'
    > >
    > > 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera
    > > and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
    > >
    > > 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
    > > department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
    > > were.
    > >
    > > 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
    > > while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible'
    > > theme.
    > >
    > > 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
    > > 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of
    > > funnels.
    > >
    > > 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
    > > browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
    > >
    > > 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud
    > > speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH
    > > NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
    > >
    > > And last, but not least.
    > >
    > > 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
    > > waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
    > > There's no toilet paper in here.'










  2. #2
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    That's is so funny!!!!

  3. #3
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    Very good - I love No:15

  4. #4
    Senior Member mumof2's Avatar
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    excellent!!




  5. #5
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    Funny!


  6. #6
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    I love number's 11 & 13!

  7. #7
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