I've been away for so long. Some of you may remember I came back and that lasted for a few weeks and then once again it all hit the fan and to be honest I'm not too sure how I've got through the last few months. It's still happening but I had such a lovely card and email from Diane and it has at last given me the courage to come back. You know when you think 'Oh I'll phone so and so up, oh perhaps I'll do it later' and then a couple of weeks go by and you think again about phoning and then suddenly you think 'no I can't go on now, it's been too long? Well that is how it was with me. Still can't get my head round things but thanks to that lovely letter, Diane you have helped me to take a different perspective. I can't sort things out for other people, as you say they must make their own mistakes but I will always be here for me DD in case she ever needs me and I really hope she won't. However, in the depths of my sorrow I knew the only thing to make me really happy would be to go and visit the Mouse. So.....using miles plus money I have booked myself to fly out for a week the first week of December flying...wait for it...UC. OMG I can hardly believe it. I am going to stay at the BC in concierge (I think it's called club now) and really spoil myself. This was all done on the spur of the moment and it was amazing how, once I'd done it, my mind was just so filled with planning etc that it helped to put problems to the back of my mind. Depending on how it goes this year I have enough miles to go again next year, not club, but I may try Poly. Oh listen, I'm in planning mode already. Anyway Diane, you are an angel, thank you so much.