1. disneymom

    disneymom Member

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    Day 979 of my captivity...

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry
    nuggets.
    Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. pooper troopers.

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but
    at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies
    and snitches. The dog receives special privileges He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously brain damaged!

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
    protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

    For now ...
     
  2. catrancher

    catrancher New Member

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    :ROFL:

    Tom :)macwave:... evil beast...)
     
  3. Lisa1976

    Lisa1976 Active Member

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    That is fantastic!
     
  4. foreverducky

    foreverducky New Member

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  5. Lor

    Lor New Member

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    :thumbsup::applaudit::ROFL: love it.
     
  6. Tink

    Tink Administrator Staff Member Administrator

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    Hold on... we're going to torment the kitty a little more and move to "Just for Laughs!"
     
  7. DisneyFreak

    DisneyFreak New Member

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    This is outstanding stuff. You should write a book with all his daily entries.

    :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
     
  8. Dorothy

    Dorothy Active Member

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    This is so funny :ROFL::ROFL:

    I've copied it to send to my daughters cat so that she can see that she's not the only one out there held in captivity by evil humans :lol:
     

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