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Dog and Cat diary....

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs and Games' started by malcolm, Jun 28, 2009.

  1. malcolm
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    malcolm Villa Owner

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    DOG DIARY

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    CAT DIARY

    Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
    little dangling objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates andI are
    fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make mycontempt for
    the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eatsomething in
    order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an a attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
    feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
    clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
    condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

    Sods!


    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
    placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

    However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
    my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
    this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
    tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
    this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
    snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
    released - and seems to be more to return.
    He is obviosly retarded

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe
    him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
    reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody
    for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now...
     
  2. Johnie
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    Johnie Budget Queen Forum Host

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  3. piratekelly
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    piratekelly Earning my ears

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    LOL I just read this on the 'other' site! Sounds like my youngest cat! lol.
     
  4. *Bambi-Belle*
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    *Bambi-Belle* Imagineer

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    Heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  5. Tink
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    Tink Cead Mille Failte! Staff Member Administrator

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    Oh great. Now I'm going to have nightmares about cats! :eek: :wink:
     
  6. Tinkfan
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    Tinkfan Earning my ears

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    :ROFL::ROFL1: How very true!
     

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