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Gentle Lessons of Life

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs and Games' started by Figment, Oct 28, 2008.

  1. Figment
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    Figment Imagineer

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    When I m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
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    A penny saved is obviously the result of a government oversight.
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    The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
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    The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
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    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a new replacement for it.
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    He who hesitates is probably doing the right thing.
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    Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL'
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    If you think there is some good in everybody, you obviously haven't met 'everybody' .
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    If you can smile when things go wrong, you must have someone else in mind to blame.
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    The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so that he can tell when he's 'really' in trouble.
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    There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
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    Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs'
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    Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
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    The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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    Some people try to turn back their life's odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long, long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
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    When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
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    You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
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    Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
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    First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's even worse when you forget to pull it down.
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    Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf
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    Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth...AMEN..!!

    :tongue0011-1:
     
  2. Johnie
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    Johnie Budget Queen Forum Host

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    :p very funny!
     
  3. Shogun
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    Shogun Earning my ears

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    Very good.
     
  4. Tink
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    Tink Cead Mille Failte! Staff Member Administrator

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    I love those! Some are just too perfect, aren't they? :D :D
     
  5. Ursula
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    Ursula Cast Member

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    I'm not good at number three :(
     
  6. Tink
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    Tink Cead Mille Failte! Staff Member Administrator

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    Ooooooh, me either! :eek: I was born with my foot in my mouth, you know. :sigh; It's stayed there too. Needs to be surgically removed but my insurance won't cover the operation. :(
     
  7. uscwest
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    uscwest Senior Cast Member

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    But of course. Everyone knows this. :tongue0011-1:
     

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