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Life in the Australian army

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs and Games' started by Johnie, Jul 30, 2010.

  1. Johnie
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    Johnie Budget Queen Forum Host

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    Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.

    (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a smalltown, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )

    Dear Mum & Dad,

    I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the
    Army is better than workin' on the farm
    tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya dont hafta get outta bed until 6am

    But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform.
    No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing

    At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but theres no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes.
    You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are ******ed because we've been on a route march
    geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin
    dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year
    All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target it's a piece of ****

    You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload

    Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy
    it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.

    Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers
    he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet,
    but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

    I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

    Your loving daughter,
    Sheila
  2. kazzaqld
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    kazzaqld Addicted to Mickey

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    :yes::lolchair: It's so true! My sister's mailbox and front gate are 2 kilometres (about a mile and a half) from her house!

    I have seen one like this with American references!

    Further translation in case you need it - Ekka is the Exhibition - kind of like a state or county fair which is held in Brisbane in August. It's billed as "the country comes to the city". I'm going to the Ekka next week so will take pictures!
  3. Tinkfan
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    Tinkfan Earning my ears

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  4. Tink
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    Tink Cead Mille Failte! Staff Member Administrator

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    I love the ending!!! LOLOLOL.

    Thanks for the translation, Kazza. I hadn't a clue what Ekka was. Looking forward to seeing your photos of it!
  5. Johnie
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    Johnie Budget Queen Forum Host

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    Me too! I think that's what made it so funny :tongue:

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