1. malcolm

    malcolm New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    443
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    Garage manager and part time Ambulance man
    Location:
    Chelmsford
    Home Page:
    WHY AM I UNMARRIED?
    You have choices in life:
    You can stay single and be miserable,
    or get married and wish you were dead.





    At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
    'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
    'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
    __________
    A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
    'Husband Wanted'.
    Next day she received a hundred letters.
    They all said the same thing:
    'You can have mine.'
    __________

    When a woman steals your husband,
    there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
    __________
    A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
    __________

    A little boy asked his father,
    'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
    Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
    __________

    A young son asked,
    'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
    a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
    Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
    __________
    Then there was a woman who said,
    'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
    and by then, it was too late.'
    __________
    Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
    __________

    If you want your spouse to listen and
    pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
    __________

    Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
    __________

    First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
    Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive..'
    __________
    'A Woman's Prayer:
    Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'
    __________
     
  2. Dizneyblonde

    Dizneyblonde Moderator Staff Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    3,757
    Likes Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    Cornwall
    Light the blue touch paper and stand well back... :lol:
     
  3. Isafari

    Isafari Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    14,065
    Likes Received:
    116
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    North East England
    :lol: I've passed those on :lol:
     
  4. Mari

    Mari New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2008
    Messages:
    4,857
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    boring
    Location:
    Mexico
    hahahaha
     
  5. foreverducky

    foreverducky New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2008
    Messages:
    7,756
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    I knew there were reasons I didn't want to get married.....ever. :lol:
     
  6. ukwdwnut

    ukwdwnut New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2008
    Messages:
    11,231
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    IT Manager/Support
    Location:
    Billericay,Essex, UK
    brill malc

    i luv these two

    First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
    Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive..'

    If you want your spouse to listen and
    pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep

    :lol:
     

Share This Page