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More aircraft fun - maintenance humor

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs and Games' started by catrancher, Jan 2, 2014.

  1. catrancher
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    catrancher Assistant Cruise Director Forum Host

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    In keeping with Keith's post the other day about Air Traffic Control humor, I thought I'd share some funnies that are aircraft maintenance related.

    In all flying organizations everywhere, there is a form a pilot fills out after a flight that details all problems or complaints he found with the aircraft while flying it. It the US Air Force, this is known as a AFTO 781A, "Maintenance Discrepancy And Work Document". But regardless of the organization, all these various document types are known collectively as "gripe sheets". Here's a few of the best pilot gripes and the maintenance response.

    Never let it be said that airframe and power plant mechanics don't have a sense of humor.

    Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    
Mechanic: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    Pilot: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
    
Mechanic: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

    

Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
    Mechanic: Something tightened in cockpit.

    

Pilot: Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.
    Mechanic: Evidence removed.

    

Pilot: Number three engine missing.
    Mechanic: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



    Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud. (DME is Distance Measuring Equipment)
    
Mechanic: Volume set to more believable level.

    Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
    Mechanic: Live bugs on order.

    Pilot: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
    Mechanic: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    Pilot: IFF inoperative. (IFF is Identification, Friend or Foe)

    Mechanic: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

    

Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    
Mechanic: That's what friction locks are for.

    Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.
    Mechanic: Suspect you're right.

    Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.

    Mechanic: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    Pilot: Target radar hums.
    
Mechanic: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    And my personal favorite:

    Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    Mechanic: Took hammer away from midget​

    Got any others?

    Tom ( :macwave:... what fun!)
     
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  2. Tony G
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    Tony G Serious Forum Regular

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    Ha Ha! Absolutely brilliant!!

    :D:D:D
     
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