1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Welcome both old friends and new to the all new Walt Disney Secrets :-D Please take a moment to say hi

More aircraft fun - maintenance humor

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs and Games' started by catrancher, Jan 2, 2014.

  1. catrancher

    catrancher Assistant Cruise Director Forum Host

    Oct 5, 2008
    Likes Received:
    Trophy Points:
    Cumming, GA. A small suburb of Atlanta.
    In keeping with Keith's post the other day about Air Traffic Control humor, I thought I'd share some funnies that are aircraft maintenance related.

    In all flying organizations everywhere, there is a form a pilot fills out after a flight that details all problems or complaints he found with the aircraft while flying it. It the US Air Force, this is known as a AFTO 781A, "Maintenance Discrepancy And Work Document". But regardless of the organization, all these various document types are known collectively as "gripe sheets". Here's a few of the best pilot gripes and the maintenance response.

    Never let it be said that airframe and power plant mechanics don't have a sense of humor.

    Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Mechanic: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    Pilot: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
Mechanic: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.


Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
    Mechanic: Something tightened in cockpit.


Pilot: Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.
    Mechanic: Evidence removed.


Pilot: Number three engine missing.
    Mechanic: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud. (DME is Distance Measuring Equipment)
Mechanic: Volume set to more believable level.

    Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
    Mechanic: Live bugs on order.

    Pilot: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
    Mechanic: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    Pilot: IFF inoperative. (IFF is Identification, Friend or Foe)

    Mechanic: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.


Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Mechanic: That's what friction locks are for.

    Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.
    Mechanic: Suspect you're right.

    Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.

    Mechanic: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    Pilot: Target radar hums.
Mechanic: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    And my personal favorite:

    Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    Mechanic: Took hammer away from midget​

    Got any others?

    Tom ( :macwave:... what fun!)
    MrDanielOwens likes this.
  2. Tony G

    Tony G Serious Forum Regular

    Aug 20, 2009
    Likes Received:
    Trophy Points:
    Ha Ha! Absolutely brilliant!!

    catrancher likes this.

Share This Page