1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Welcome both old friends and new to the all new Walt Disney Secrets :-D Please take a moment to say hi

Pets and rules...

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs and Games' started by malcolm, Apr 22, 2010.

  1. malcolm
    Offline

    malcolm Villa Owner

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    446
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Location:
    Chelmsford
    Subject: Rules of the house


    FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.

    The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

    Dear Dogs and Cat s: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run..

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will

    continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered.. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

    The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this

    enough.

    Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:


    TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

    (1) They live here. You don't.
    (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
    (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

    Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
    (1) eat less,
    (2) don't ask for money all the time,
    (3) are easier to train,
    (4) normally come when called,
    (5) never ask to drive the car,
    (6) don't smoke or drink,
    (7) don't want to wear your clothes,
    (8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
    (9)don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
    (10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ..
  2. foreverducky
    Offline

    foreverducky Addicted to Mickey

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2008
    Messages:
    8,327
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    United States
    That's fantastic!

    (1) They live here. You don't.
    (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
    (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.


    Amen to the above comments. (1, 3, and 4 are especially true for me)
  3. Disneybumble
    Offline

    Disneybumble The Secret is in the Sauce.

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2008
    Messages:
    3,110
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    38
  4. catrancher
    Offline

    catrancher Assistant Cruise Director Forum Host

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2008
    Messages:
    6,096
    Likes Received:
    64
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Cumming, GA. A small suburb of Atlanta.
    Yup! :yes:

    But we should add:

    Remember, pets are just children that eat off the floor!

    Tom :)macwave:... my dogs are my buddies!)
  5. ukwdwnut
    Offline

    ukwdwnut Director of Recruitment Forum Host

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2008
    Messages:
    11,355
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Billericay,Essex, UK
    hmmmmm oh to add some stuff on here but id get more :slap: :lol:
  6. Tink
    Offline

    Tink Cead Mille Failte! Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    25,971
    Likes Received:
    426
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    15 minutes (or so) North of WDW
    :laugh:

Share This Page