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Quiz contestants! part 1

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs and Games' started by kazzaqld, Jul 28, 2008.

  1. kazzaqld
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    kazzaqld Addicted to Mickey

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    <tt>UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)</tt>
    <tt>Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Homosexuals.</tt>
    <tt>Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.</tt>


    <tt>BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)</tt>
    <tt>Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.</tt>
    <tt>Theakston: There's a clue in the title.</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Leicester.</tt>


    <tt>BBC NORFOLK</tt>
    <tt>Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: I don't know.</tt>
    <tt>White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Arm.</tt>
    <tt>White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Strong.</tt>
    <tt>White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Louis.</tt>
    <tt>White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Frank Sinatra?</tt>


    <tt>LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)</tt>
    <tt>Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: France.</tt>
    <tt>Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.</tt>
    <tt>Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.</tt>
    <tt>Trelinski: Just guess a country then.</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Paris.</tt>


    <tt>THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)</tt>
    <tt>Anne Robinson: - Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: The Conservative Party.</tt>


    <tt>BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)</tt>
    <tt>DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?</tt>
    <tt>Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?</tt>


    <tt>UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE</tt>
    <tt>Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Goosey?</tt>


    <tt>GWR FM (Bristol)</tt>
    <tt>Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.</tt>


    <tt>RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND)</tt>
    <tt>Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about</tt>
    <tt>pensioners: Last Of The...?</tt>
    <tt>Caller: Mohicans.</tt>


    <tt>PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)</tt>
    <tt>Phil: What's 11 squared?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: I don't know.</tt>
    <tt>Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Is it five?</tt>


    <tt>RICHARD AND JUDY</tt>
    <tt>Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?</tt>
    <tt>A: Forrest Gump.</tt>

     
  2. kazzaqld
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    kazzaqld Addicted to Mickey

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    Re: Quiz contestants! part 2



    <tt>RICHARD AND JUDY</tt>
    <tt>Le</tt><tt>slie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Er. . .</tt>
    <tt>Le</tt><tt>slie: He makes bread . .</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Er . ...</tt>
    <tt>Le</tt><tt>slie: He makes cakes . . .</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Kipling Street?</tt>


    <tt>LINCS FM PHONE-IN</tt>
    <tt>Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Barcelona.</tt>
    <tt>Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.</tt>


    <tt>NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)</tt>
    <tt>Question: What is the world's largest continent?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: The Pacific</tt>


    <tt>ROCK FM (PRESTON)</tt>
    <tt>Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?</tt>


    <tt>THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)</tt>
    <tt>Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Magna Carta?</tt>


    <tt>JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)</tt>
    <tt>O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER?ER .</tt>
    <tt>Three?</tt>


    <tt>CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)</tt>
    <tt>Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?</tt>
    <tt>Caller: Japan.</tt>
    <tt>Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.</tt>
    <tt>Caller: Er ....Mexico?</tt>


    <tt>PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)</tt>
    <tt>Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.</tt>


    <tt>DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)</tt>
    <tt>Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Holland?</tt>
    <tt>Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?</tt>
    <tt>Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: No.</tt>


    <tt>PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)</tt>
    <tt>Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Er. .. .</tt>
    <tt>Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Blimey?</tt>
    <tt>Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: (Silence)</tt>
    <tt>Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Walked?</tt>


    <tt>THE VAULT</tt>
    <tt>Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Nostalgia.</tt>


    <tt>LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)</tt>
    <tt>Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Jewish.</tt>
    <tt>Presenter: That's close enough.</tt>


    <tt>STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)</tt>
    <tt>Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?</tt>
    <tt>Contestant: Jesus</tt>
     
  3. mumof2
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    mumof2 Serious Forum Regular

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    :uhh: :unsure: OMG!!! I can't pick out my favourite ~ they're all as crazy as each other! :bounce022:
     
  4. Dawn
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    Dawn carpe diem-ing Forum Host

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    :rofl:
     
  5. Claire
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    Claire She lost the crayons!

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  6. Skywatcher
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    Skywatcher Chief Astronomer

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    :laugh: thank you for making a bad day - slightly less bad
     
  7. lisaw
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    lisaw Serious Forum Regular

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    :lol: That is why I would never enter a phone in competition :lol:
     
  8. Isafari
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    Isafari Wild Animal Expert

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    :lol: brilliant
    Loved the UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
    Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
    Contestant: Goosey?

    and also
    JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
    O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
    Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER?ER .
    Three?

    Need to send that to DH....he is sitting at his computer about 6 feet away but I'll email him anyway!
     
  9. kazzaqld
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    kazzaqld Addicted to Mickey

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    I think the Goosey one was my favourite too - but I love all the ones where the host is desperately trying to help and the person is just beyond help! :lol:
     
  10. MystikPiglit
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    MystikPiglit Peace, Love and Mickey Mouse

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    :laugh: Excellent.





    :dozey:
     
  11. Skywatcher
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    Skywatcher Chief Astronomer

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    This sort of thing backs up some very un pc thoughts that keep surfacing in my mind from time to time :D
     

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