1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Welcome both old friends and new to the all new Walt Disney Secrets :-D Please take a moment to say hi

The Middle Wife

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs and Games' started by Figment, Sep 13, 2008.

  1. Figment
    Offline

    Figment Imagineer

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2008
    Messages:
    456
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    West Chester, OH


    The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

    I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but
    the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade
    classroom a few years back.

    When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions
    with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell
    is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish
    they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or
    limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it,
    they're welcome.

    Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,
    takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow
    stuffed under her sweater.

    She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and
    I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

    ' First, Mom and Dad made
    him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach,
    and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

    she's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to
    laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in
    amazement.

    'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh,
    Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the
    house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical
    duck walk and groaning.)

    'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a
    sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed
    like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

    'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he
    got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like
    psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water
    flowing away. It was too much!)

    'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
    They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden,
    out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it
    was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside
    there.'

    Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm
    sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day,
    I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
     
  2. Tinker
    Offline

    Tinker Earning my ears

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2008
    Messages:
    3,182
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    that was cute, Figment . Being a pre school teacher, I have a funny one . It was time for music and as it wasn't a holiday, I decided to let each child sing her or his favorite song . When it was Samanthas turn she stood up and in motion started singing Its Getting Hot In Here... So Take Off All Your Clothes . I was so shocked I didn't know what to do or say . The other kids giggled and we just moved on as if it hadn't happened . It's funny now LOL
     
  3. luvthemouse
    Offline

    luvthemouse My nickname is DANGER

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2008
    Messages:
    781
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Location:
    Delaware
    I love that Middle Wife story... I've heard it many times, but it still makes me smile..

    Jack came home from day care singing "Shake Your Booty" when he was 3...and he was shaking it....
     
  4. Tinker
    Offline

    Tinker Earning my ears

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2008
    Messages:
    3,182
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    :lol: I'm almost afraid to ask ... how old is Jackson ?
     
  5. luvthemouse
    Offline

    luvthemouse My nickname is DANGER

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2008
    Messages:
    781
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Location:
    Delaware
    Tinker my dear, Jackson will be 5 in October...:shocked025:
     
  6. Tinker
    Offline

    Tinker Earning my ears

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2008
    Messages:
    3,182
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    WoW , already . I'm getting old ... fast .
     
  7. Grammiepo
    Offline

    Grammiepo Daisy Inspector

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2008
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    northwoods of Maine
    Any one remember the show, Kids say the darnest things?
     
  8. Tink
    Offline

    Tink Cead Mille Failte! Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    26,742
    Likes Received:
    615
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    15 minutes (or so) North of WDW
    Yes! I remember seeing clips of that! My grandmother loved Art Linkletter! :yes: There were some really funny moments on that show!
     
  9. Tinker
    Offline

    Tinker Earning my ears

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2008
    Messages:
    3,182
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I LoVed that show . Have you seen * Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader * I'm don't LOL
     
  10. cathydisneynut
    Offline

    cathydisneynut Imagineer

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2008
    Messages:
    272
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    We have the equivalent called "Are You Smarter Than A 10 Year Old?". The kids are great!
     
  11. Dawn
    Offline

    Dawn carpe diem-ing Forum Host

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    14,337
    Likes Received:
    163
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Location:
    In the red...
    I was reading with a 5 year old girl in Steven's class and she told me that they had been to Egypt for their holiday and her big brother had gone swimming in the sea and got stung by a jelly bean. :lol:
     
  12. Tink
    Offline

    Tink Cead Mille Failte! Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    26,742
    Likes Received:
    615
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    15 minutes (or so) North of WDW
    My young relative in California (7 at the time) and I were talking about foods we liked and disliked. She said that she liked macaroni and cheese, and Mexican macaroni and cheese.

    Me: "Oh? I've never had Mexican macaroni and cheese."

    She: "My mother makes it."

    Me: "Oh?"

    She: "It's burnt macaroni and cheese."

    I nearly croaked! :lol: The mother is a notoriously bad cook and as a result those children have a dreadful diet of McDonald's and Burger King. :(

    At any rate, I got a good chuckle out of her definition of burnt macaroni and cheese. (Oh, her mother is Mexican, hence the "Mexican" designation).
     

Share This Page